


Brothers.

by alecgbane



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Marauders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-07 03:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 38,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15899748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecgbane/pseuds/alecgbane
Summary: Modern AU.Remus Lupin was happy. He was studying at a prestigious University, he had the best friend anyone could have and the most handsome boyfriend. Nothing could go wrong. Or at least that's what Remus thought until he met Sirius Black, his boyfriend's brother, who was even more beautiful and apparently very interested in him.“Don’t you get it, Remus?” Regulus raged. “He only stole you from me because he hates his family and wants to do anything to hurt us.”Remus loathed the fact that it made sense to him. Of course, Sirius was only using him. How did he even think that someone like the oldest Black could ever like him?“Liar.” Sirius replied. For the first time, he seemed desperate. “I love him. That’s why I stole Remus from you.”





	1. Moony

Lily was insane. There was no other explanation to why she would drag Remus to a dance club called ‘Moony’ only days apart from their exams. Her excuse was that they both needed to relax after so much studying and, in Remus’ case, stressing out.

Maybe she was right. Maybe he, of all people, really needed to stop worrying so much about the upcoming tests. The thing was that those tests would define his future. And he was not being dramatic. Or maybe he was. But they were still very relevant.

Remus was born in a very poor family. It felt like yesterday when his mother, Hope, would cry of how hungry she was but nonetheless would give her portion to a starving little Remus. His father, Lyall, used to work in a small bookstore situated in the main street. When the owner died, though, Lyall lost the job.

His father didn’t last in a job for longer than seven months. Until Remus’ fifth birthday, when he told his family, a huge smile plastered in his face, that he was finally going to work for the government, something he had long wished.

Things had gotten better but it was still not enough for Remus. Being unquestionable smart, his teachers recommended him to go to various top universities. The problem had been, obviously, that he couldn’t afford them. Thankfully, his father moved some contacts and he could enter Manchester University, where he was currently studying Law.

So, that was why Remus was so frantic about his exams, he couldn’t take his career for granted. Apparently, Lily didn’t care about that. Well, maybe Lily cared about his mental health, not wanting him to overstress but she still didn’t seem to care about the fact that if he failed his exams, the university would probably take his scholarship away. What a friend she was.

Realising he was deep in thought, Lily shook him. He glared at her but his expression quickly softened when he saw her smiling with excitement. It was an odd, but still beautiful, look on her, being used to see the fiery redhead with a scowl in her face.

“Come on, Remus. I want us to have fun for just one night.” She stated. He knew that trying to make up her mind to go back to their dormitory was useless. Instead, he grinned back at her, hugging her by the shoulders.

“Ok, but just for tonight. Tomorrow I will go and lose myself in those hideously long books. Deal?”

“Deal.”

* * *

 

He had never been to Moony before. It looked like any other dance club. Too many bright lights of different colours, music too loud for his liking and a lot of people who seemed to enjoy that personal space was apparently inexistent.

“Try to look happier Rem, if not it looks like I kidnapped you to come here.”

“You kind of did, actually.” Lily pushed him.

“For that, you are going to dance with me, Lupin.”

They went over to the dance floor. Remus felt relaxed at last. Dancing was, as Lily well knew, his secret passion. He had never acted on it due to his parent’s opinion, who thought art was by no way a proper job, as it would not pay the bills.

He moved with ease. He did not even know what he was doing. He just listened to the music and let his body do the entire job. He could feel many eyes on him, but he did not give it much thought, enjoying the feeling that dancing gave him.

“Uh, oh. Pretty boy staring at you as if he were to eat you in any moment.” Lily said, waking him up from his daydream. He followed her eyes and swallowed hard.

A handsome guy, sitting in the bar, was indeed staring at him. Realising Remus was looking back, he seductively smiled. His smile only accentuated his beautiful look, his short and black hair surrounding his face in such an elegant way Remus’ pale brown curls would never accomplish.

Remus looked at Lily and said, over the loud music, “Drinks.” She only smiled knowingly and continued dancing. Remus walked over to the bar and stood, beside the attractive guy, waiting for the bartender to take his order. When he finally did, Remus muttered “Manhattan, please.”

He heard the black-haired guy chuckle at his side. When he talked, he did it with such a deep voice Remus felt like something melted inside him.

“I don’t really like that drink.” He was smirking and Remus couldn’t help to smirk back, arching his eyebrow in which he hoped was an attractive way.

“Who said it is for you?” he replied. The guy’s smile only became wider.

“Well, I must have misunderstood your look from the dance floor.” The bartender put his drink in front of Remus and, after paying, he gulped a great amount of it, making his throat burn.

“I must say, you were the one staring at me.”

“Would you blame me? Gorgeous boy dancing exquisitely.” Remus blushed, which apparently led the boy to touch his hand. “I’m Regulus.”

“Remus.”

Regulus smiled. Being so close, Remus could see his eyes were a pale shade of grey. He, again, found it hard not to compare himself to the boy that resembled a Greek God and felt down, as he was nothing but ordinary.

“What do you say, Remus. Want to get out of here?”

* * *

Their first kiss had been sloppy and fast, but still enjoyable. But the slow kissing Remus was experiencing right now was what heaven must be like. They had just woken up and although Remus thought it was his cue to leave, Regulus had insisted on him staying for a while. Remus hesitated for only a moment but looking at the beautiful guy in front of him, sprawled in the bed with pleading eyes, he had gone back to the bed.

“My parents are not coming until midday, anyway.” Remus became conscious of the fact that he knew nothing about the boy and started to freak out.

“How old are you?” Regulus laughed.

“Eighteen. But my parents think I am too young to leave home.”

Remus nodded absentmindedly while looking around the room. It was very white and very elegant, as Regulus also was. Suddenly, Remus felt out of place, his shabby clothes scattered through the floor.

“I should really go. I am supposed to be studying.” For a moment, it seemed like Regulus was going to protest but he finally disentangled his limbs from Remus’ and started looking for their clothes.

Both dressed, Regulus walked him to the door. With a last and passionate kiss, the sun hit them as the door was opened, blinding them for a second. The street, as it was only eight in the morning, was completely empty except for a guy in front of Regulus’ house who was climbing off a huge motorbike.

Without looking back, Remus walked down the street, not realising there were two pairs of eyes staring at him.


	2. Prongs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you all want to see some Sirius/Remus interaction and don't worry, it will happen in the next chapter.  
> And sorry for any mistake, my first language is Spanish, not English.  
> Thank you so much for reading and if you like my work, please leave kudos :)  
> \- Mic.
> 
> If you want to know who I picture when I write about Sirius, Remus and Regulus, you can see it here:  
> https://wplfstar.tumblr.com/post/177781795446/main-cast-of-brothers-wolfstar

Sirius stared at the back of the boy who exited his house. He blinked a few times, trying to understand who he was. Surely, he was not one of Regulus’ friends from school. Sirius did not believe that any person in that posh institution wore clothes that shabby. Shrugging, he took off his helmet and entered the house.

Regulus was standing in the kitchen, waiting for the water in the kettle to boil. Neither of them greeted the other; they fell into an awkward silence. Although, when Sirius noticed a red bruise in Regulus’ neck, he was the first to talk.

“Who was that guy?” Sirius asked even though he already knew. Regulus realized that he was only doing this to mock him but did not seem to care. He just looked at him dead in the eye and replied, sounding bored:

“A friend.”

“A friend who leaves hickeys in your neck?” For a second, Regulus blushed.

“You from all people are going to judge me? You bring men all the time just to annoy our parents.”

Sirius laughed but didn’t sound happy. “You are right, _brother.”_ He spat the last word with venom. Regulus, unaffected, kept drinking his tea, staring defiantly at him.

Sirius got up and marched to his bedroom. He closed the door soundly and threw himself to the bed. For a reason Sirius didn’t quite understand, the fact that Regulus was acting so carefree was annoying him. Regulus had always been one to stick to the rules and he didn’t believe fucking men to be a rule their parents would approve of.

* * *

 

_1 month later._

“Welcome to Prongs. May I take your order?” the chubby boy behind the counter smiled at Remus, who did it back.

“Two cappuccinos, please.” The boy nodded and after a few minutes, Remus had the two coffees in his hands.

He walked down the coffee shop until he found Lily, who was sitting in a table in front of a huge window. He grinned at her and gave her the cup. She muttered her thankfulness and started drinking, not even caring of how hot the substance was.

“Bad night, eh?”

“I only slept for two hours. I’m telling you, once we finish with those exams; I’m going for a vacation in Aruba.”

Remus laughed and stared at her fondly. Lily was not his only friend but she was the closest one. There was not a single thing she didn’t know about him and accepted him no matter what. He also enjoyed immensely that she always made him laugh, even without intention.

They drank their coffees in a comfortable silence. Prongs was their favourite café for many reasons. Firstly, because it was only two blocks away from their university, secondly because their products were natural and delectable. And lastly, although Lily didn’t admit it, because the owner of the shop was hot and funny.

The bad thing was it was usually crowded, so finding their favourite table empty was a great challenge. Thankfully, Lily was fast enough to sit there before two grumpy boys did it. That was enough to put Remus in an extreme, and annoying, good mood.

“Oh, no. It’s him again. Remus, don’t look.” Remus laughed heartily and spun, coming face to face (or face to chest, specifically) with James Potter, the owner.

“Ah, my regulars. The brilliant Lupin and the gorgeous Evans.” Remus shook his hand whereas Lily just nodded, not looking at him in the eye. “I must say…”

However that sentence continued Remus had no idea. He was staring at a boy who had just entered the shop. A familiar boy. His black hair contrasting deliciously with his white face had stayed in Remus’ memory since last month, when he had a one night stand with the possessor of those beautiful features.

The boy felt someone ogling him and searched them with his grey eyes. When they finally landed on Remus, he smirked and started making his way to him.

“Remus, right?” Remus nodded, suddenly unable to speak. He cleared his throat, mentally scolding himself for acting so ridiculously.

“Regulus?” the boy smiled. “What are you doing here?”

Regulus was staring at him so deeply that Remus couldn’t tear his eyes away. “Well, I came here to have a cup of coffee, you see.”

Remus blushed. “Of course. But I have never seen you in here.”

“I don’t usually come. But I was in the area and I know the owner.”

“Yes, thank you for noticing me, Black.” The voice was neither Remus’ nor Regulus’. It was James who had spoken. Remus had forgotten he was there, what made him feel very ashamed.

“I didn’t see you there, Potter. I’m truly sorry.” James rolled his eyes, uncaringly.

“Did you come with Sirius?” he asked. Apparently the concept of Regulus coming with whoever this person was cheered James up.

Regulus looked at him like he was crazy. Apparently the concept of whoever this person was coming with him was inconceivable to him. “No, of course not. I came alone. By the way, I really have to go.” He nodded at James, completely ignored Lily and looked at Remus straight in the eye. “Call me” and he slid a card into his hand.

* * *

 

“Call him.”

It had been one week since Remus had ran into Regulus. Also one week since the later had told him to call him. Remus hadn’t. He didn’t know why, but it made him feel nervous. There was something about this guy that made feel Remus inferior. Not because of his appearance, Remus was used to people being more beautiful than him. Probably it was because of the way he moved, and talked, and _looked at him,_ like a kid looks at a piece of cake, wanting to devour it.

Lily had told him a thousand times to call Regulus, but he always dismissed it telling her he would probably do it later. _Liar,_ Remus had told himself every time, already knowing he would not do it.

“I will but not right now. I have things to do.” Lily looked at him with her famous scowl.

“What are those things?” she asked innocently. Remus knew that Lily using that tone with him only meant trouble.

“Hm, I have to… wash the dishes.” Lily rolled her eyes.

“It’s my turn to wash the dishes.”

He was going to reply but Lily glared at him, immediately silencing him. She grabbed Remus’ phone, which was currently lying on the sofa and gave it to him.

“You are going to call him. Or text him. Or whatever. But you are going to talk with that guy. I’m tired of seeing you ogling that fucking card as if it was the guy himself.”

Remus gave her a scared stare. Lily only cursed when she was angry or done with something. It definitely meant trouble.

He snatched the phone from her hand and looked at the screen. Why was he so nervous, anyway? Regulus told him to call him; he wanted Remus to do it. He wanted to talk to him and maybe even, see him again.

He thought that calling him might have been really forward. Remus didn’t even know if he was available. Deciding on sending a text to him, he quickly typed:

**Hey, it’s Remus. You told me to call you**

He pressed send and placed the phone upside down on the table. Lily laughed and mumbled something like “ridiculous” before going to the kitchen.

Remus had just grabbed the newspaper when his phone biped. Apprehensively, he grabbed it and read the text he had just received.

_You aren’t very good at following instructions, are you?_

Remus giggled and was very glad Lily couldn’t hear him. If she could, he would never hear the end of it.

**I thought texting was better**

_Anything is good if it means talking to you._

This guy is going to be the death of me, Remus thought while blushing and smiling stupidly at his phone. He suddenly realized he didn’t know what to reply and after a few minutes, he received another text.

_Do you want to grab a coffee after I finish working? I get off at 7._

**7 is good. Prongs??**

_I was thinking of other place. But let’s meet outside that café._

**Ok, see you**

**:)**

“Lily.” Remus shouted. “I have a date.”

Remus had never seen Lily running so fast.

* * *

 

Regulus looked more handsome than ever. He was wearing a plain white shirt and black trousers, but he still made that simple outfit look like something taken from a fashion magazine.

He greeted him, kissing his cheek. Remus blushed, something that he had been doing a lot lately, he ashamedly noticed.

“You look beautiful.”

Remus snorted inside of his head. He doubted he actually did. At least not compared to Regulus. He was wearing dark jeans and a white t-shirt. But he didn’t manage to wear it with elegance like his date did.

“Where are we going?” he asked, suddenly worrying he hadn’t dressed up for the occasion.

“A friend of my parents owns a café in the centre. You mind?”

Remus shook his head. Regulus smiled and grabbed his hand. They walked for five minutes, in silence, until they were in front of a fancy building. The big sign above the large glass doors read:

_Lestrange._

“Oh, I know this place. Well, the owners are kind of famous, aren’t they?”

Regulus smiled again. But this time, it was not the seductive and beautiful smile Remus liked so much, it was dark, more like a grimace.

“Yes, they are kind of famous. But do not believe everything they say about them, Remus.” He stated hazily.

Remus thought that it better not be true what the television programmes have been saying about them, as apparently their son was part of a racist group of people named _Death Eaters._

They continued talking, thankfully about brighter topics. Remus soon found out that Regulus was not studying, nor planned to do, due to the insistence of his parents for him to work immediately after graduation in his family company.

He was surprised when Regulus told him that his parents were the owners of _The Daily Prophet,_ the most successful newspaper of England. The same newspaper Remus had been reading this morning.

“You are that Black?” Regulus rolled his eyes but nodded fondly, not surprised at Remus’ overwhelm.

“What about you, Remus? What about your family?”

“Well, my mother is a cashier in our town’s supermarket and my dad works for the Department of Tourism.” He said sheepishly. “It has always been the three of us. A small family. I always wanted a sibling, but my parents could barely afford giving me a good life.” Remus opened up. Afraid he had said too much, he tried to distract Regulus. “Do you?”

“Do I what?” asked Regulus, genuinely confused.

“Have siblings.”

“Ah,” Regulus’ eyes blackened. “Yes, as a matter of fact. A brother. But it is rather complicated.”

“Sorry, I didn’t…” Remus started saying, ashamed.

“Ah, does not matter.” Abruptly cheering up, he locked eyes with Remus and wondered “Do you want to go for a walk?”

Regulus paid, not caring about Remus’ protests. They got up and walked for what seemed like hours. They did it while talking about everything and anything. The sky was already dark and it was much colder than when they had met at Prongs.

Regulus’ hand kept brushing his and feeling brave; Remus took it and intertwined their fingers. The boy smiled broadly at him and kept walking. Remus realized that he was directing them on Prongs’ direction and thought, sadly, that the date was about to be over.

When they finally arrived to the café, Regulus suddenly stopped, for what Remus bumped into him.

“Sorry, sorry.” Remus started muttering but was silenced with a kiss.

Regulus’ lips were soft and his breath was a mix of mint and dark coffee. Remus closed his eyes and grabbed him by the neck, which purposely deepened the kiss. Regulus opened his mouth and their tongues danced together.

Too soon, the kiss ended. Regulus grinned at him and with a last peck, asked if he could walk him to his flat. Remus only nodded, too dazed with the effect of the kiss.

* * *

They saw each other again. And again. And again. And again until they were seeing each other almost every day, always hanging out in Remus’ flat or going for a coffee.

One particularly rainy day, Remus and Regulus were sprawled on the sofa after watching two episodes of Sherlock, Remus’ favourite TV show. They were lazily caressing each other when Regulus asked, out of the blue:

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“What!?” Remus exclaimed.

“You heard me.” Regulus said, smirking.

“Ahh, well. Yes?” Remus asked and then smiled. “Yes, I want to.” He said firmly.

Regulus kissed him soundly and they fell to the floor. They spent the rest of the evening laughing. Remus was happy.

* * *

 

Hanging out in James’ flat until he arrived from work became a routine for Sirius. He tried to spend as less time as possible in his house. He had a lot of things to entertain himself until his best friend made it home. For example, James’ diary from when he was a kid. He couldn’t stop laughing and had lost count of how many times his name appeared on the entries.

He listened the door opening but didn’t bother to hide the object on his hand nor his laughter. When James saw him, he rolled his eyes and crept to the kitchen. He stopped midway and stared at him, horror struck.

“Why the hell do you have that?” he yelled, jumping and tackling Sirius to the ground.

““I think dad likes Sirius better than me.”” He read, short of breath. “Well, my friend, I think you are right.”

“Shut the fuck up.”  James finally freed him and took the diary from his hands, ashamed. “I was nine years old.”

Sirius smirked. “Why do you even have that?”

“I like keeping this kind of stuff, you know. Memories.”

“Memories of you being a prat.” James ignored him and went to the kitchen. He came back with two beers and handed one to Sirius. “Bad day?” James only drank alcohol when he was in a bad mood. Unlike Sirius, who thought every hour of the day was good to have a drink.

“Crowded. And Peter seems to get more stupid as days pass.” Sirius laughed.

“Don’t be like that. He is cool.” James raised his eyebrows. “Kind of.”

“Anyway…” James started “Do you want to go to a party on Saturday? Longbottom is hosting.”

Sirius was about to happily say yes, as Longbottom’s parties were well-known to be amazing, when he stopped, scowling.

“Can’t. Regulus’ birthday. And Andromeda pleaded me to go.”

“Oh.” James abruptly smiled. “Talking about Regulus. I forgot to tell you. Three months ago he came into my shop.”

“What?” Sirius cried out. “He never goes there.”

“I know. That’s why I was so surprised to see him. I was talking to Evans, you know? The gorgeous regular I’ve told you about. And then he walks directly to her table and starts talking all smoothly with her very male friend, Lupin.” Sirius raised his eyebrows, amused. “Wait, that’s not the best part. They couldn’t tear their eyes from each other and then he gave him his card and asked the guy to call him. Like they knew each other from before, you know?”

“What does this Lupin look like?” Sirius asked, suspicious.

“If you want to know, you should come to my shop.”

“Come on, you know I hate coffee.” James snorted and muttered _tea princess,_ ignoring him, Sirius insisted. “What does he look like?”

“Tall, thin.”

“So specific. Like there aren’t a million tall and thin people in the world.”

“Fuck off.” James cursed. “Pale brown curls. Green eyes. Always wearing shabby clothes.”

“YES!” Sirius shouted and James stared at him, startled. “I bet it’s the guy that was coming out of my house four months ago. The one I told you about.”

“Ah, yes. Maybe it is him.” James remembered.

“Oh god, I love you so much, Prongs.” Sirius kissed his friend’s cheek forcefully.

“What? Why?”

“You know how he did nothing when my parents acted like fucking homophobes when I came out?” James nodded. “Well, I’m going to make his life a living hell in revenge.”


	3. Padfoot.

Sirius Black was having an excellent day. He had woken up early enough to listen to the whole new cd of his favourite band. On his way to work, he had found the Queen’s eyes in the form of a twenty pounds note staring at him from the pavement. When he arrived to work, he found out that Marlene, her employee, had already opened the shop, so that the only thing he had to do was sit in his chair and wait for the customers.

His excellent mood disappeared the moment a young – too young – boy entered the luminous building.

“Sirius, this kid wants a tattoo but doesn’t have a permission signed.” Marlene told him, coming into his room.

“Then tell him to get the fuck out.” He snapped, not tearing his eyes away from his cell phone, where he was editing a picture of himself that James had taken.

Marlene, not even flinching because of his sudden aggressiveness, said “I’ve already told him. He insists. Go and tell him yourself.”

Reluctantly, Sirius got up and went to the shop’s reception. There stood a blonde boy, who was smiling broadly at him, all his extremely white teeth showing. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Welcome to Padfoot Ink. What can I help you with?”

“I want to get my initials signed, please.” Although it seemed impossible, the boy’s smile became wider. Sirius raised his other eyebrow. _Egocentric._

“What’s your name, boy?” he asked, trying to sound sympathetic.

“Gilderoy Lockhart.” The boy said.

Sirius nodded. “How old are you?” Gilderoy’s smile faltered.

“Fifteen, sir” Sirius supressed his need to snort.

“Well, you see, Gil. I can’t tattoo you unless you brought a permission form signed by your parents. Did you?”

Gilderoy shook his head. “But I can give you a lot of money. I really want it.”

“No, boy. I already told you. I won’t break the law just because you want a tattoo. I’m not a delinquent.” Offended, Gilderoy turned his back to Sirius and Marlene and left the shop. “Not like my family.” He added, once the boy’s retreating back was justa black dot in the distance.

Marlene rolled her eyes at him and brushing her blonde hair off her face, she asked him “Talking about family, what are you going to wear tonight?”

“Tonight?” Sirius replied, puzzled.

“Regulus’ birthday, you dumbass.”

“Fuck. I completely forgot.”

“Of course you did. I insist, what are you going to wear? I don’t want to feel too overdressed.”

Sirius didn’t answer until he reached his room’s door and just to be dramatic, he flicked his long black hair exaggeratedly.

“It is a surprise, darling. As you know, I dress to impress.”

He was quick enough to close the door before her pencil holder hit him.

* * *

 

“No.” Remus said, pressing his mouth close to his phone’s microphone.

“Please.” Regulus, from the other side, simply said.

“Reg, I already told you. We have been together for less than a week. It’s too soon.”

“But I also told you that this is a party. It is not like an introduction dinner. Please.”

“Your whole family is going to be there!” he exclaimed, nervous.

The thing was Regulus had been pleading Remus to go to his birthday for days now. One part of him wanted to go due to his desire of being with his boyfriend on this special day. But the other part of him, the rational one, thought it was too soon to meet Regulus’ family.

“They will love you.”

“Regulus…”

“Please, love.”

Remus closed his eyes tightly and sighed. He felt he was going to regret it the moment the words were out of his mouth. “Only if I can bring Lily with me.”

“Perfect. See you tonight, Rem. Dress nicely!” Regulus hung up.

Remus let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and called for Lily.

“Lily, we have a party tonight!”

Lily was already there.

* * *

Remus was already regretting it. His hands were sweating, his heart was rapidly beating and he couldn’t bring himself to ring the doorbell to Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, where Regulus lived and was currently hosting his birthday party.

The façade of the house was black and sophisticated. Above the door, stood a strange symbol of a shield with a skull on top of it and a hand holding a sword and three black birds inside of it.

“Creepy, eh?” Lily whispered, staring at it with a strange look in her eyes.

“The inside is nicer.” Remus whispered back, remembering the only time he had been on the house.

“Ready?”

Remus was not so sure. Yes, he had known Regulus for months now but being introduced to his family was something totally different than just being in a relationship. Regulus had not told him much about his parents but Remus was ready for the worst.

“No. But let’s get over with it.” Lily nodded and pressed the buzzer.

They stood awkwardly looking at the door until it was opened. Regulus came into view, waring a black suit. He smiled fondly at Remus and invited them inside.

“Lily, a pleasure.”

“You too, Black.” Lily politely replied. “Happy birthday.”

Regulus didn’t have time to express his thankfulness. A very small man came out of nowhere. Remus noticed his clothes were not as elegant as Regulus’ and that he had an oddly long nose, as well as big ears.

“Master Regulus, your mother wonders who arrived.” The man’s voice was hoarse and unpleasant. Both Lily and Remus tried to hide their grimace.

“Thank you for informing me, Kreacher. But I will immediately introduce her and my father to our guests.”

Regulus talked with such formality that Remus became very afraid of messing up not finding the correct words.

“She has been like this since the party started, my mother.”

“What do you mean?” Remus asked roughly. It seemed like he was trying to imitate Kreacher.

“I told her I wanted her to meet someone important. And she has been sending Kreacher to ask me who the person who arrived is every time the doorbell rang.”

Remus tried to laugh but instead, a strange sound came out his mouth. He was feeling more nervous than ever. Regulus told them to follow him and leaded the way, walking through a long corridor. On the walls portraits of every size stood proudly. Remus noticed that most of them were Regulus’, the other being of two stylish people, probably his boyfriend’s parents. No sign of his brother.

They arrived to a large room. There was only one long table against the wall, where one could find various drinks. Remus could hear soft music playing on the background, but saw neither CD player nor computer. He heard a throat being cleared and realized that the couple from the pictures on the corridor were very real and very standing in front of him, an unreadable expression on both their faces.

“Mother, father. This is Remus, my partner.” Whether his parents were surprised or not, Remus didn’t have a clue. Their faces were as blank as always. “Remus, this is Orion, my father and this is Walburga, my beloved mother.” Lupin shook their hands awkwardly and glanced at Lily, who was staring fixedly at the older couple.

“And this is Lily, Remus’ friend.” Lily nodded but Orion and Walburga completely ignored her. Instead, their eyes were still on Remus, who suddenly felt that the room was very hot.

“It’s a, ah, big pleasure to meet you.” Remus said. Walburga smiled tightly, which far from calming Remus, it made him more nervous. There was no kindness in that smile.

“We were not aware of Regulus’… preferences.” Orion told him, his voice sounding like anything but friendly.

“I planned on telling you today.” Regulus stated. Remus felt a wave of proudness washing through his body, he wasn’t nervous at all.

They stood in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Remus was about to talk when a deep voice sounded from behind him.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me, Regulus?”

Remus spun around and involuntarily gasped, the music making it go unnoticed. The reason of his surprise stood in front of him, smirking. He had the same black and soft hair than Regulus, except that it was shoulder length. His face was symmetrically perfect. Where Regulus was soft features, the boy was sharp edges and high cheekbones.

Although Remus noticed those few differences, the two boys were very similar. The unfamiliar man looked older, but not much.

He was impressively well dressed; with a black coat so long it reached his feet. Under it a black shirt with a red pattern clung tightly to his skin, accompanied with ripped black jeans.

Realizing he was ogling another man in front of his boyfriend – and his parents in law, nothing less – he tore his eyes away and instead stared at the white wall in front of him, his cheeks flaming.

“Yes, of course.” For the first time, Regulus sounded agitated. Remus wondered who this man was to make him, always so calm, like this. “Remus, this is my brother.”

“Sirius Black.” He said, smiling. The oldest Black brother held out his hand. Remus shook it.

“Remus Lupin.” He offered.

Remus tried to ignore the sparks he felt when their hands touched but failed miserably.


	4. The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I wrote this chapter while listening to Ezra Miller's band, as it helps me to write Sirius.  
> Because you know, Ezra Miller is the perfect Sirius Black. It's a fact.

The physical contact between Remus and Sirius did not last long but enough for the later to feel a knot in his stomach the moment their eyes met. Sirius was sure it was not one-sided, as the other boy’s face was as red as the curtains of his house’s living room.

Taking advantage of the fact that none of his family members seemed interested in looking at him, he quickly checked Remus from head to toe.

He was handsome, but not in an obvious way. He was tall and thin as James had said, but it fitted him perfectly. Sirius suddenly felt the urge to caress his golden brown curls. In fact, Sirius wanted to run his hand all over his body but told himself it was not appropriate doing it in front of his family. Especially when he was thinking about his brother’s boyfriend. It was even too much for him, who usually didn’t care about what people thought of his actions.

The sound of the doorbell brought Sirius back to reality. Regulus gave him one hard stare and turned to Remus.

“Remus, do you mind Sirius giving you the rest of the tour around the house? I need to open the door to our guests.”

According to Remus’ face, he didn’t think it was a good idea. Sirius smirked, loving how intimidated the boy seemed to be by his presence. Instead, Remus nodded his head and smiled shyly at Sirius.

Regulus quickly disappeared but not without whispering to him “don’t be stupid”. Without looking at his parents, Sirius locked eyes with Remus and told him to follow him.

The moment they were out of his mother’s and father’s earshot, Remus started talking to the girl by his side, who Sirius had not seen until then.

“I’m so sorry, Lily. That must have been horrible for you.”

The redhead, apparently named Lily, shrugged. “I’m actually glad they didn’t notice me. They didn’t seem very nice, did they?” Sirius laughed loudly, startling them. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your parents.” Lily said sheepishly.

Sirius, for their puzzlement, laughed again, louder this time. “Oh, darling. I already like you. Of course they are not nice. They are the opposite from nice.” He smiled at their confusion explicitly expressed on their faces.

They kept walking until they reached a large mahogany door. Loud electronic music could be heard even with the door closed. Sirius swiftly opened it. They were met with much younger people than the ones that were in the living room. All of them had something to drink on their hands.

“Welcome to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.” Sirius said, leading Remus and Lily inside.

* * *

 

Remus followed Sirius into the room, trying to not pay attention to how good it looked on him the way his long coat swayed. He could feel Lily’s eyes burning on his back and was sure she was trying not to scold Remus for his poor behaviour. Remus knew he deserved it, he was already scolding himself but he couldn’t help it. There was something about this man that made him act this way.

“Padfoot!” Someone shouted.

Remus tried to locate the owner of the voice and, shockingly, he realized it was James Potter, the owner of his and Lily’s favourite café, Prongs.

James came running to them but slowed down, staring awedly at something behind Remus. It was almost comical; the look on James’ face, like he had just registered that it was Christmas.

“Evans!” Remus couldn’t help to smile. He casted a glance at Lily, who looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up. “And Lupin!”

“Potter.” Lily greeted him, while Remus shook his hand eagerly.

“So this is the gorgeous Evans, eh Prongs?” Sirius wondered, still smirking. “James talks all the time about you.” He informed Lily, who, although almost unnoticeable, Remus saw her slightly blushing.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other.” Remus said aloud.

It was not the right thing to say, apparently. Not if you didn’t want to find yourself in an awkward situation. The two boys looked at each with such intensity; Remus felt he was interrupting a very intimate moment. Then both of their faces broke into huge smiles and they strongly hugged.

“Knew each other?” Sirius said at last, pulling away from James. “This boy is like my brother. Mind you, he is more brother of mine than your _boyfriend_.”

Remus didn’t feel comfortable with the way he spat the last word neither enjoyed being reminded of Regulus, as now he felt guilty for how he had been acting around Sirius.

“Why don’t we get some drinks, Remus?” Sirius said, followed by a wink. _An actual wink._ Remus couldn’t find a good excuse and thought that telling him “no because you are very handsome but also the brother of my boyfriend” could come out a bit strange. Instead, he nodded and together, they went to the arranged bar.

“Hey, Ted. A Manhattan, please. Remus, what about you?”

Remus, who had been looking at Sirius’ long fingers, looked up and flushed. Sirius smirked. He seemed to do that a lot. Remus was worried his mouth would get struck like that.

“Eh, same thing actually.”

They grabbed their drinks and Remus wondered if they shouldn’t have asked for something for Lily and James, but didn’t ask. Sirius was staring at him, his infuriatingly attractive smile finally not on his face. Actually, his stare was a hard one.

It was in that moment Remus realized he was standing with his boyfriend’s brother who probably would want to give him _the talk._ Remus hadn’t prepared himself to go through a situation so excruciating.

“How did you meet Regulus?” the dark haired questioned.

Remus should have guessed he was going to be asked that. It didn’t make it easier, though. He was not ashamed of his sexual life but the only person he felt comfortable talking about it was Lily. And she was not anywhere near to save him from this hell of a conversation.

“Ah, we met at a club.”

“Oh. I understand.” He winked. _Again_.

“Yeah.” He said for no reason. “Are you studying?” he asked, trying to change the topic.

 _Of all the things you could have asked_ , Remus thought, _you go for studying. Life of the party._ Sirius didn’t mind, though. His eyes were gleaming, lightening the grey colour of them. They were similar to Regulus’ yet so different.

“I don’t. Couldn’t find a career that made me passionate. But I run a studio.”

“A studio?”

“Tattoo studio. Padfoot Ink.” He replied. “Do you like tattoos, Remus?”

“Ah, well. Yes, very much. But I never got one. You see, they are too expensive.” He lied.

Remus actually hated tattoos. He couldn’t understand why people would like to permanently mark their bodies, when usually they were stupid and meaningless drawings that they were probably going to regret later in life. But he still lied. He didn’t know why but he felt that it was the right thing to say.

“I can tattoo you. For free.”

“That’s not really necessary…”

“Really. I can do it. _Anytime. Anywhere you want it.”_ He purred. Remus blushed and looked at anywhere but Sirius.

“Thank you _,_ Sirius. That’s enough.” Someone hissed behind Remus.

He spun around and saw Regulus, standing sophisticatedly. He looked out of place in the room full of drunken teenagers, like how Remus felt when they had their first date at Lestrange.

Smiling, Remus threw his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders. He tried to convince himself that he did not do it for Sirius to understand that he was happily in a relationship and that the way Remus had acted the last hour was because he was nervous by the concept of meeting Regulus’ family, not because he found his brother dangerously attractive.

It was not necessary, though. Sirius was already going back to James and a, surprisingly, smiling Lily.

“Hey.” Regulus whispered, kissing his cheek.

“Hey.” He answered back. “Wanna dance?”

“Remus…” his boyfriend complied.

“Come on, like at Moony.”

“We didn’t dance at Moony, I took you immediately home.” He reminds him with a laugh.

“Yeah, well. But you watched me dance. Come on.” He insisted.

Regulus sighed and accepted. He was not particularly a good dancer but Remus loved the fact that he was trying. His movements, unlike Remus’, were sheepish, like he did not know exactly what to do.

Remus, on the other side, started moving freely. The feeling of moving his body in time with the music was like no other. He gripped Regulus’ hips and started dancing seductively.

He totally didn’t lock eyes with a set of grey eyes that were staring at him from the other side of the room. He totally didn’t feel encouraged when those same eyes darkened. He totally didn’t imagine another person dancing with him, instead of his boyfriend.

The bad thing was he totally did.


	5. Empty bed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy some wolfstar moments.

Remus kissed Regulus. Their tongues found each other, fighting for dominance. He knew everyone in the party was watching them but he didn’t care. He closed his eyes tightly and deepened the kiss.

Remus was looking for something. He was trying to shut his mind. He wanted to stop thinking, to stop torturing himself. Grey eyes appeared floating in front of him. It was _him_. He who Remus couldn’t stop thinking about, even though he had tried.

“Whoa, what’s up with you?” Regulus demanded, once they were obliged to break the kiss for some air.

“Nothing- I- I haven’t given you your birthday present, that’s all.”

Regulus looked at him funnily. “What do you mean?”

Remus rolled his eyes, impatient. “Room.”

Regulus’ eyes blackened. They walked to the large door and turned to the left, reaching the stairs. They started climbing them, stopping a few times to avidly kiss.

When they were finally inside the bedroom, Remus wasted no time in order to avoid overthinking and took Regulus’ suit jacket. He started unbuttoning his shirt, while kissing his neck. Regulus moaned and threw him to the bed, climbing into his lap.

It was a mess. Too much teeth, too wet. But Remus enjoyed every second of it. Searching release.

He ignored the fact of imagining another set of grey eyes – lighter ones – staring at him with pleasure.

* * *

 

Sirius felt a pang in his chest when he saw the two boys kissing frantically. It was so wrong, not averting his eyes from his brother’s intimate moment. They were the ones giving them a public display of affection, after all.

He saw them retreating. He saw them disappearing behind the door. Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them, he used them to look for James, who was still trying to win Lily’s heart but it was useless.

“I’m telling you, there’s a magic world. It’s just that they are hiding it from us.” Lily looked at Sirius blissfully when he saw him arrive, thankful that she didn’t have to be the only one listening to James’ nonsense anymore.

“Have you seen Remus?” she asked. James seemed disappointed on not engaging a proper conversation with the redhead.

“Probably having sex with my brother upstairs.” He said, grimacing. Lily just grinned.

“They are at it all the time in our flat.”

“Oh?” Sirius muttered.

“Yeah. I have never seen Remus so careless about University.”

Sirius made a strange noise and looked around the room. A blonde and posh guy was staring at him. When their eyes met, Sirius winked and started making his way to him. He didn’t even try to make conversation, just grabbed him by the neck and kissed him.

They kept kissing for minutes. The boy, whose name he didn’t know, was a good kisser but Sirius grew quickly bored. He tried to kiss his neck, but the blonde pushed him away.

“Not here.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed him by the hand, dragging him to the stairs. They climbed them in no time and started making out in the corridor, next to Regulus’ room.

“Not here.” This time Sirius had said it, afraid of hearing whatever was going on behind the door with a silver plate reading R.A.B.

Sirius directed the boy to his room, which was nothing like the rest of the house. The walls were covered with posters and pictures. Even the curtains had suffered alterations, as Sirius had made a good job drawing eccentric figures on them.

The two boys fell to the bed, in a sea of hands and limbs.

It ended too quickly in Sirius’ opinion and he told the guy to go back downstairs, wanting to be left alone.

In the silence of his room, Sirius closed his eyes and fell asleep almost immediately.

He dreamt of golden brown curls and green eyes.

* * *

 

Immediately as Remus woke up, he noticed something was wrong. He was not in his room, which was pretty much obvious. It was too bright, the blankets were too white and the bed too comfortable. What was also different was the fact that there was no annoying noise. From his room, Remus could hear the early morning traffic and his old neighbour’s out of tune singing. In wherever Remus currently was, though, the silence was ringing in his ears.

He opened his eyes and closed them straight away. _Too bright, indeed._ After a few seconds, he let the light in and then unblinkingly looked around at his surroundings.

It was definitely Regulus’ bedroom. It was the second time he woke up in this place, having been presented to his family just yesterday. Remus thought back to last night and blushed. He felt very ashamed now, without the effects of the alcohol in his veins. He had acted like a hormonal teenager.

Remus turned and became greatly disappointed when he found the other side of the bed empty. There was a note on the pillow, though. He suddenly had the feeling that he was in a very cliché movie. Grabbing it, he noticed Regulus fancy handwriting, which read:

_I had to run to work. Make yourself at home. Ask Kreacher for breakfast. My parents are already at the company and Sirius should be gone when you wake up._

_Regulus._

Remus felt suddenly very nervous due to the fact that he was alone at a home that was not his own. He disentangled himself from the covers and started looking for his clothes, putting them on. He went to the small bathroom in Regulus’ dormitory and washed his face. He looked at himself in the round mirror. His hair was a mess, his eyes swollen from sleep.

Stepping out of the room, he started making his way downstairs as silently as he could. He followed the sound of dishes being washed, expecting to see Kreacher, the Black family servant. Instead, he found himself staring at the back of Sirius Black.

A very shirtless Sirius Black. _Fuck_ , Remus cursed inside his head, wanting to turn around and run to the door. He could not, though. Sirius had noticed his entrance to the kitchen and was smiling.

“Ah, Remus. I was wondering if you were here.” He said. Remus blushed because apparently it was everything he could do when the man was around.

“Eh, yes. Regulus told me to grab something for breakfast but I can go home.”

“No! Make yourself at home.” Remus felt guilty when those words made a pleasant wave ran through his body. Regulus had written the same phrase but they hadn't felt this way. “Coffee?”

Remus nodded, feeling very hot. The dark haired man smiled widely and started making the beverage, Remus standing awkwardly a few feet away.

“I must insist, Master. I can do it for him.” A husky voice said from the shadows. Remus soon realized that Kreacher was in the kitchen, his face ugly contorted and his fists clenched.

“I can do things for myself. Go and clean my mother’s office for the tenth time if you want.”

The small man looked at him with loath but left anyway. Remus became more anxious than before, being alone with Sirius.

“Here.” He said, handing him a cup of boiling hot coffee. Remus thanked him and moved to the breakfast bar. He sat in one the high chairs and started drinking it. “Sorry for that. Kreacher loves to do everything and I hate people doing things for me.”

“It’s ok.” He replied, trying not to look at his naked chest. “I thought you were not here. I mean,” he quickly added, ashamed. “Regulus told me you wouldn’t be.”

Sirius smiled, sweetly this time. It made him look younger. “I usually wake up before anyone else and go over to James’. But I preferred to stay today.”

All Remus could do was incline his head. They did not speak for a while, until Sirius broke the silence.

“Had a good time last night?” Black asked.

“Ah, yes. Very good.”

“I’m glad, I hosted that side of the party.” He informed him.

“You did?”

“Yes, Regulus wasn’t very happy but he didn’t have time to do it himself.”

Remus smiled. It was obvious Regulus hadn’t organised the party, he had seemed uncomfortable among the other people, who had been greatly enjoying the modern music and the free drinks.

Remembering abruptly about his friend, Remus asked: “Do you know how Lily left?” He felt horrible for remembering just now.

Sirius smirked. “James gave her a ride home.” His eyes were twinkling. Remus raised his eyebrows. “Nothing happened. Lily is great, by the way. And James is totally head over heels for her. Has been for months now.”

“Really?” Remus asked, although he was not surprised. The café owner always seemed too eager to talk to the redhead. Sirius nodded, a fond look sitting on his face. “I think he is great. I approve him.”

“Ah, the protective friend. How did you and Lily meet?”

Remus smiled, happy memories running to his head. “School. I was very shy when I was a kid. She was the first kid to talk to me, asked me to sit with her. We have been best friends since then. How did you meet James?”

“Well, the Blacks and the Potters are top society’s families, you see. And we met when we were only four years old at a stupid event. I love the Potters. They are nothing like a posh family usually is.”

Remus enjoyed the conversation they were having. Sirius sounded genuine, whereas last night he talked to him like he was playing a character.

They kept talking. Remus soon discovered Sirius hated coffee, Shakespeare and sunny days. He also found out he loved apple tea, Queen and Arthur Conan Doyle, but didn’t like nor watch any TV or film adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. This started a rather passionate argument, ending with Sirius promising Remus to watch the modern adaptation of the famous detective.

Once he had drunk all of his coffee, he stood up and said, trying not to sound disappointed:

“I should be going.”

“Let me take you home.”

Remus’ eyes widened. “It’s ok, I can take the bus.”

“Nonsense. Unless you don’t like motorbikes.”

The boy shrugged. “I’m ok with them. But really, it’s not necessary.”

Sirius dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “Let me just change my clothes.” _More like put some clothes on,_ Remus thought, who was still trying to not look at his chest. “I will meet you at the door.”

Putting his coat on, Remus walked to the entrance, where he met a very grumpy Kreacher brushing dust off the portraits that decorated the long corridor’s wall.

When Sirius met him, Remus had to repress his urge to gasp. He was wearing a white t shirt and on top of it a leather jacket with roses on the sleeves. He looked delectable.

Too much for not being a hormonal teenager.

* * *

 

“Oh.” Remus said once he saw the motorbike. It was huge, completely black. He could remember seeing it the first time he had been to Grimmauld Place. And, now he realized, Sirius was the one coming off it.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“Nothing.” Remus quickly replied. Sirius mounted the motorbike and stared at him, his eyebrows raised.

“What are you waiting for? Come here.”

Remus blushed, hesitated and finally got on the bike. When he did, he kept his arms at his sides, awkwardly and certainly uncomfortably. He heard Sirius chuckle. Handing him a helmet – Remus noticed it had the same pattern of roses as his jacket – he said:

“You can hold my waist, Remus.”

The brown-haired boy scrupled for a moment but then did as he was told. He felt a chill run down his back, similar to what he had felt the first time their hands had touched. He tried to ignore it.

Telling Sirius his flat’s address, the grey-eyed started the engine and rode.

Remus inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.


	6. The Article.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! And leave kudos or a commet if you like the story.

The ride only lasted fifteen minutes, Sirius exactly knowing how to get to Remus’ flat faster. For the later, though, it seemed years. Once they got there, it took Remus a while to realize they had already arrived. It was only when Sirius chuckled and said “this is you” that the brown-haired boy took the helmet off and got off the bike.

“Eh, thank you. For bringing me home.” He thanked him awkwardly. Sirius just smiled and winked, Remus only being able to see his eyes due to the helmet.

He walked to the doors. He heard the engine start and Remus casted a last glance over his shoulder. They locked eyes for a few seconds and then Sirius was gone.

Remus went to use the elevator. Usually he would climb up the stairs, even when they lived in the last floor, but the ride had left his legs trembling. When the doors opened, he was surprised to see Lily already there.

“There you are. Come in. We need to talk.” Lily was scowling at him. Remus immediately knew something was wrong. And he didn’t want to ask. “Tell me everything. We can’t talk inside the flat.”

“Wha- Why- Tell you what?”

Lily glared at him. “Tell me what happened. Why the hell Sirius Black did just drop you off? I saw it from the window. What did you do, Remus?” she said the last sentence tiredly.

“I did nothing!” he replied, offended. “He just gave me a ride home. As James did.” Remus accused.

Lily didn’t even blush. She continued talking. “I have known you forever, Remus. I saw you reacting to Sirius. You like him!”

“I DON’T!” realizing he was screaming he calmed down. “For God’s Sake, Lily! I just met him yesterday.”

“Look at me at the eye and tell me you didn’t find him attractive.”

 _Bitch,_ Remus thought. Lily perfectly knew Remus was the worst at lying,.

“He is attractive.” Lily frowned. “But you are too. And James is. That doesn’t mean something will or has happened with you.”

Lily opened her mouth to retort back but closed it. After a few seconds, she lowly said:

“He is his brother, Remus.” She informed him, as if he didn’t already know. “I just don’t want to do anything stupid.”

“I won’t, Lily. The guy is hot, that’s true. But Regulus is who I like and you know I wouldn’t cheat.”

Lily relaxed and nodded. The doors opened and just when they were about to enter the flat, he remembered.

“Wait. Why couldn’t we talk inside?”

Lily’s body tensed. “Oh, right. Regulus is here.”

* * *

 

Regulus was sitting in the couch, his rigid shoulders standing out. Remus left his coat hanging on a chair and went to greet him.

“Hey.” Seeing the frown on his face, he wondered “What’s wrong?”

“How did you get here?” he asked instead.

“What?”

“Answer me.” He commanded.

“Your brother brought me. What is wrong with you?” he repeated, more defensively.

Regulus looked angry. Remus had never seen him like that. At least not when that anger was directed at him.

“Here.” He handed him a newspaper.

He noticed there was a picture of Regulus, wearing his black suit from yesterday night. The article read:

“Regulus Black: the scandalous birthday boy.”

We are used to Sirius Black being in the eye of storm. But yesterday night showed us that he might have some competence when talking about his young brother, Regulus, who currently works in this same newspaper.

According to one anonymous source, Regulus, who just turned 19 years old, introduced his parents to a man who he classified as his lover.

Although his name remains unknown, the source describes him as a lanky boy with brown and messy hair.

Both Black children have now chosen to not stick to the normative, as the pair has claimed to prefer male company.

How will this affect the youngest Black?

“I don’t understand.” Remus said, dumbfounded.

“My father is punishing me! He allowed some stupid journalist to write this crap about me! He outed me to the world!”

Remus blinked, one, two, three times. He looked up and stared at Lily, who was staring back with pity in her face.

“Punishing you?”

“YES!” Regulus screamed. His face contorted, which made him lose his handsome features. “He doesn’t approve of us! So he is doing this.”

“But-“ Remus began but shut up at once.

“I thought… I thought that he was not going to have a problem with it, as I always did everything they told me to. I wanted to go to University but I didn’t because of them. And this is how they pay me!”

“Regulus-“

“The worst thing is that everyone knows now.”

The silence of the room after that statement deafened Remus. He looked at his boyfriend, trying to understand what he had just said.

“The worst?” his voice was small, almost unrecognisable. “Your father is being a prick to you and the worst thing is that everyone knows about us?”

“Remus, I have a reputation-“

“And your reputation is more important than us?” he angrily asked.

“Remus-“

“You know what? Get out.”

“We need to think about some-“

“GET OUT!”

* * *

 

After one week of not talking to Regulus, Remus started being his old self. When he was not in one of his classes, he was in his flat absorbed in a book. Remus had passed all of the last month’s tests but the finals were coming.

He also found out it was the only way to shut up his mind. He was still angry but mostly disappointed by his boyfriend’s behaviour. After all, he had been the one eager to introduce Remus to his parents. This unexpected turn of events had Remus trying to decipher how Regulus’ mind worked and how much people’s opinions mattered to him.

He thought back to Sirius. He had had no problem in saying he didn’t like his parents. How bad were they for their own son to dislike them so much? He remembered how they had ignored him during the party, as if he was nothing but a particle of dust. He wondered if they were as horrible with Regulus, though the later didn’t seem to have the strength to fight back.

Remus hadn’t cried. Every time he felt a knot forming in his throat, he would grab a book to distract himself. Lily would look at him, worried. She had tried to make him open up, but Remus couldn’t. He just wished one day he would wake up and everything would be back to normal.

It did not. Another week passed and Regulus had not called nor texted him. Remus would find himself multiple times grabbing his phone and looking for his contact. But he never did something else. He was not the one who had said he was ashamed of people knowing about them. He was not the one who should save their relationship.

Sometimes, when in need of some fresh air and getting away from books, Remus would wander around the city. Most of the times, he ended up in the park situated in front of Lestrange, the coffee shop where Regulus and him had their first date. Although, now that he thought about it, Remus didn’t know if he could call it a date anymore. Thinking back, they had acted like nothing but friends and Remus suspected Regulus had done it in purpose, for people to not be suspicious themselves.

He had seen Regulus come out of the café twice, surrounded by a group of rather intimidating looking boys. Remus had stared at him until he disappeared around the corner. Then, he had come back home. Lily had held him while he had fixed his gaze on the floor, hopeless.

Nothing was alright.

* * *

 

“You need to eat something.”

Lily was not angry. Remus pretty much knew that. She was livid. She was tired of seeing his best friend moping. She was disappointed on Regulus. And, above everything, she was about to kill James Potter, who had been more insistent than ever on taking her on a date.

If you added up everything, it resulted in the Lily Evans in front of Remus. Her hands on her hips, her face coloured into an ugly scarlet red. Remus, in other moment, would have been scared. Nowadays, though, he didn’t feel a thing. He just stared at her.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Ok, I’m done. Change your clothes. We are going for coffee.” Lily ordered.

He thought of fighting back. But then he thought of how ridiculous this was. Remus was sulking because his boyfriend – was he even still his boyfriend, Remus wondered – was a prat. He stood up, smiled to Lily and proceeded to change into more socially accepted clothes. His pyjama was not a good outfit to go and grab coffee.

Once outside, Lily grabbed his hand. He squeezed it and Lily did it back, smiling to him. They started making their way to Prongs.

Maybe things would get better.

* * *

 

When they arrived, the shop was strangely empty. Only two tables were occupied and, luckily, that was not the case of their favourite. They quickly sat down, the chubby employee instantly coming with the menus.

“Thanks.” Lily kindly smiled at the boy, who blushed and almost fell over on his way back to the counter.

After ordering, they started talking about trivial topics. Remus was thankful that Lily carefully avoided naming Regulus. After a while, they stayed silent. The only sounds heard were the wind against the windows and the murmuring of the other clients.

When he heard the familiar voice, Remus choked and started coughing.

“An apple tea, Peter. And a croissant.”

Remus looked at Lily, alarmed. He rummaged through his bag, looking for something to cover his face. The only thing he could find was a newspaper, having forgotten to pack his books. He grimaced when he noticed it was the same edition Regulus had pushed in front of his face the last time they saw each other. He opened it and hid behind it anyway, not wanting the man to see him.

Too much for that.

“Lily! Remus!”

Remus slowly descended the paper, Sirius’ smiling face appearing in front of him. His hair was a mess, but even that looked good on him. His lips were red and shiny and his eyes…

 _Fuck,_ Remus painfully thought. He was using eyeliner. It made his whole face structure stand out in a more prominent way. Remus vaguely wondered if that jawline could cut diamonds.

“Hey, Black.” Lily greeted him and then did something horrible, worth of a traitor.

She invited Sirius to sit with them, to which he accepted a little too happily. He grabbed a chair from the nearest table and situated it at Remus’ side, directly in front of the redhead. When he sat down, their thighs touched. Sirius didn’t move his, though. Neither did Remus.

“How is James treating you, Lily?”

Lily began telling him how insufferable Sirius’ best friend had been towards her. The black-haired roared with laughter, assuring her the only way James would calm down was if she accepted going on a date with him. Twice during their conversation, in which Remus remained quiet, he thought he had felt something like a hand brushing his leg. By the third time, Remus was sure. Sirius hand was on his leg. And it wouldn’t leave.

Remus knew he could have told him to get it off. He knew the boy probably would have complied. But, for an unknown reason, Remus wanted the hand to stay where it was. The pressure was minimal, the warmth of the touch doing strange things to him.

He was about to do something crazy, something like putting his hand on top of Sirius’, when Lily’s ringing phone brought him back to reality. He rapidly placed his hand on the table, as if it had burnt.

“Oh, perfect! Yes, I’ll be right there. Thank you, Miss Meadowes.” Lily hung up. She stood up and started grabbing her things, informing them “Sorry, guys. I really need to go. Job interview.”

“What?” Remus asked, horrified. She was leaving them alone. He truly hated his best friend right now. “Job interview? When did you even apply?”

“Last Thursday, when you were too busy sulking. Ok, bye. Love you, Rem. See you, Black.”

Remus watched her leave, a horrible sensation on his stomach. He couldn’t face Sirius alone. He didn’t think he could face any Black alone, actually.

“Sulking?” Sirius asked. Remus looked up, locking eyes with the other man for the first time in the morning. “Can’t say my brother has been doing better.”

“You- you know?” he asked, partly ashamed.

“No. But he has been miserable and you haven’t come home in weeks, so I took a guess.”

“Ah.” He just said, because come on, what could he say? Was he going to start talking about his love life with a guy he was attracted to? Especially when his love life consisted in a relationship with his brother.

“I bet it is about the article. Isn’t it?” Remus nodded, not helping himself. Sirius smiled cynically. “Of course. You know, I love how my father insulted me even though he was punishing Regulus.”

Remus flinched, not liking to be reminded about the horrendous article. Sirius simpered, sweetly this time.

“Look, my family is like that. I don’t know how Regulus even thought they were going to accept it just because it was him. If there is anything my parents love more than anything, even their sons, are norms.”

Remus watched his eyes. They had darkened and his shoulders were tense. It was kind of painful, seeing the usually full of life boy talking about something that had apparently hurt him so deeply.

“When I came out, they did something even worse. They also ridiculed me in that stupid newspaper but they wanted to really get to me, so they made Regulus write the article. He was only fourteen but he already was an excellent writer. I pleaded him not to do it. He did it anyway, not wanting to get in trouble with mother and father. He wrote horrible things. And my parents loved it and printed it right away.”

“I was never the perfect son they wanted. I always hated everything to do with being on top of society. I was never interested in working for their company. And I let them know all these things, because once, when I was really stupidly hopeful, I thought they would accept me anyway. They didn’t. They hit me too. When I came out it was the worst beating ever. They took turns to do it. I left home and went straight to the Potters, who immediately took me to the hospital.”

“What I am trying to say, Remus, is that you shouldn’t be surprised. My parents are like that. Homophobes, the worst kind. Regulus is not brave enough to contradict them. He saw how it went with me. He doesn’t want that.” Sirius sighed. “I cannot believe I am saying this but try to understand my brother. I don’t know what exactly happened but knowing him, I bet he just pushed you away and tried to hide your relationship. I am not justifying him, he is an arse. But there is a reason behind his actions. And it is that our parents are assholes that don’t care about their kids’ happiness.”

Sirius finished his speech. Their eyes found each other. The grey ones were gleaming tiredly. Remus timidly did what he was going to do earlier. He slowly put his hand on top of Sirius’. They stayed like that for many seconds or minutes, Remus didn’t really know nor care, until a voice interrupted their moment.

“Remus?”


	7. Back together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter. It was a pain in the ass to write but well, here you go.  
> I hope you like it and if you do please leave kudos or comments.

Sirius lamented the loss of Remus’ hand on top of his the second it was gone. He knew it was wrong but something about his brother walking in a rather intimate moment between he and his boyfriend felt good. Sirius tried not to think about revenge, although he was aware he had been doing everything just to hurt his brother the way he had once done.

“Regulus?” he heard Remus say. His voice sounded hesitant and weak. When he got up, Sirius noticed his hands were shaking and his face was a deep shade of red.

His brother took some steps closer to both of them. Remus did the same and they found each other half way. Sirius sat there, witnessing the reunion with an unpleasant feeling sinking low in his stomach. The two men stared at the other, not saying a word. Sirius thought it was a good moment to add some ironic comment but he did not. He was more interested in hearing what his brother had to say.

“What is going on?” his question overflowed with wariness. His gaze moved from Remus to Sirius and then, if Sirius’ eyes were not wrong, to their hands, now feet apart.

“We were-“ Remus started.

“Drinking coffee. Tea, in my case.” Sirius replied mockingly. Regulus placed his hardened eyes on him.

“What are you doing here?” he questioned Sirius this time. Sirius smiled darkly at his young brother.

“You see, I already told you-“

Regulus, stopping his teasing, reformulated his question. “What are you doing here with him?”

Remus opened his mouth again to answer but Sirius was faster. “Talking, something you should have done weeks ago.”

And with that, he left the shop, not looking back.

* * *

 

Remus and Regulus stood still, eyes locked. None of them talked, the silence saying enough. For a second, Remus felt the need to pull the other boy close to him, to hug him, hold him. He didn’t, though. He remembered everything the black-haired had said, how ashamed he was of them. On the other hand, he was still processing Sirius’ words.

_Try to understand my brother._

Remus had tried. Hell, he had. But it was impossible. Sometimes he wondered if he had overreacted but then the hurt feeling would return and he would dismiss that possibility.

Regulus was the first one to talk. When he did, his voice sounded worn out but he still held an accusing tone.

“We need to talk.”

Remus cynically thought that no, they didn’t. Regulus needed to talk. Regulus needed to ask for his forgiveness, to tell him he was not ashamed of them or, at least, he was not anymore.

He said nothing. He swallowed his bitterness and instead nodded his head, not trusting his voice to come out strongly.

“I am so sorry for everything. I understand why you are so angry, Remus. And I’ve hated myself so much these two weeks. But… you need to understand, I need to tell you about my family…”

“You don’t.” he blurted out, not really meaning to. Regulus looked at him, confused.

“I… don’t?

“No. Sir- your brother has already told me everything. I did not know your parents were that bad. If I had known, I bet things would have been different between us.”

“He- he told you?”

“He asked me to understand you.”

Regulus looked more bewildered than ever. His eyes widened and his jaw slightly dropped.

“He did?”

“Yes.” Remus said. “Look, Regulus. I miss you, ok? But I don’t like the idea of you being ashamed of us, of me.”

“I’m not.” The boy exclaimed. “But we need to take things slow. We should... lay low. Just for a while. Until everything calms down.”

Remus sighed, disappointed. It did not come as a surprise, though. On these two weeks, Remus supposed that if they came back together, it would not be in a way Remus wanted.

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yes. But I will not lay low forever, Regulus. I want you to sort everything out.”

“I… Of course!” Regulus smiled in disbelief. “You really mean it?”

“Yes.”

“I won’t ruin it this time, Remus. I promise.”

Remus wished he believed those words.

* * *

 

Their relationship went back to normal, Regulus hanging out in Lily’s and Remus’ flat and Remus never going to the Black Manor. He tried not to feel disappointed, although he continued to fail. He knew it was for the best, going slowly. Nevertheless, it still felt awful, not being able to kiss him o even hold his hand in public. Regulus would freak out even if their skin just brushed.

Sirius also became an obstacle in the way of their relationship improving. Ever since Regulus had found both of them at Prongs, holding hands, even the briefest mention of his older brother would make him extremely sensitive. They hadn’t specifically talked about what he had walked in but the Black would seize every opportunity to throw hints at Remus that he hadn’t forgotten about it.

They didn’t even have a lot of time to see each other, with Remus second year’s final exams approaching and Regulus having a hard time at work after the huge article fiasco.

Remus had noticed, though, that it didn’t bother him too much. He was usually not in the mood to see the other boy and when they were together it would be awkward for minutes. They spent most of their time together kissing, fucking or watching films, as they constantly found themselves unable to have a proper conversation.

Lily heartily disapproved of their relationship and was sure to let Remus know. Every morning, she ranted about how unhealthy it was to be with someone who purposely hid him. Today, as they sipped their coffee and ate their toasts in the dinner table, she was going on about how she didn’t really think Regulus would do anything to not ruin their relationship. Remus didn’t tell her he neither completely believed it, not wanting to encourage her to lengthen her speech. Instead, he shushed her.

“Can we just talk about something nice for once? Maybe not about me?”

Lily nodded although it seemed she wanted to keep talking some sense into him. “Ok, well. I have a date tonight.”

Remus almost dropped his toast to the floor. Lily had a smug look on her face.

“A date? Who is the lucky boy?”

Lily blushed so deeply that there seemed to be no difference between the colour of her face and her hair. “JamesPotterTheProngsOwner.” She said, the words coming out of her mouth in a quick succession.

“What?” Remus questioned, raising his eyebrows.

Lily sighed and confessed. “James Potter.”

Remus roared with laughter. For a few minutes, it was everything he could do, Lily furiously glaring at him. He laughed and only when he stopped because the need of air was critical, he managed to say.

“But you hate him!”

Lily had a small smile in her face. “He can be very interesting and nice when he is not being a pain in the ass.”

Remus stared at her, a mocking grin in his face. He hugged her, making Lily drop coffee on her pyjama.

“I’m happy for you.” He genuinely said.

He was. If Remus couldn’t be happy himself, he wanted one of the most important persons in his life to be.


	8. Death Eaters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day. I bet you are really going to enjoy this one.

Professor Binns was the one who imparted Remus’ history class. He was an old man with clothes that were too big for his thin figure. He usually looked sick and pale, which was a good reason for mischievous students to call him names behind his back.

Remus liked him, even though he never got his name right. He was the reason many of his university friends called him Romulus. The man reminded him a bit of his father, passionate about the past and politics.

Remus barely saw his parents anymore. With his studies and them living in Cotswolds, so far from Manchester, they met for special occasions like birthdays or Christmas. He felt homesick sometimes. He missed his mother’s homemade biscuits and tales about infuriating costumers at the supermarket. He missed his father’s critics on how bad the government was handling a problem and his mystery books he would give to Remus once he finished reading them.

But lately he had missed them the most. With all the Regulus-hiding-him issue, plus the I-think-I’m-attracted-to-his-brother one and the stress from studying, he really needed a reassuring hug from both of them.

He tried to ignore that need, though. As he did every time he felt bad about something. He focused, instead, on the class. All thoughts about his parents and the Black were pushed aside.

* * *

 

“Are you doing something tonight, Lupin?”

It was Gideon Prewett who had made the question, a classmate. He had orange hair and a face full of freckles. They were standing outside the classroom, Gideon leaning against the white marble wall. Remus used to have a crush on him but it had disappeared with time. Lily insisted, though, that the ginger had, as she had put it, “the hots for him”

“Eh…” Remus started saying at the same time his phone rang. He threw Gideon an apologetic look and picked it up.

“Hey, love.” It was Regulus. “Listen, I will be home alone for the whole weekend. Father and mother are gone for some kind of convention. Do you want us spending it together?”

Remus thought about saying no with the excuse of having to study. He thought it better and, as he wanted them to improve, he accepted. Regulus, sounding way more cheerful than before, said goodbye with the promise of two exciting days.

* * *

 

“Do you think this looks good?” Lily asked, appearing in the middle of the living room.

Remus looked up from his bag, where he was arranging his clothes for his weekend with Regulus. She was wearing a white shirt tucked in a black leather skirt, along with white stilettos. On top of it, she wore a long black coat.

Remus coughed, going red-faced. The outfit painfully reminded him of the first time he had seen, and been amazed by, Sirius Black. Lily raised her eyebrows, looking at him funnily.

“Is it that bad?” she asked weakly.

“No!” he hastened to clarify. “You look amazing. You just, eh, reminded me of someone.”

Lily didn’t ask who she reminded him of and Remus was glad, even though he suspected she knew. Lily was extremely smart and Remus an open book when it came to her.

“Well, I am leaving. You text me if you need me to punch James in the face.”

Lily hugged him while laughing. “And you text me if you need me to punch Regulus. I am dying to do it, anyway.”

* * *

 

It was awkward, being back to Regulus’ house after all that had happened. Kreacher had looked at him loathly when he had opened the big door for him. He was told Regulus was waiting for him in his bedroom and after insistently telling the servant that he did not need anything, he made his way there.

When he knocked the door he was greeted by a Regulus sitting in his desk, surrounded with files and newspapers.

“Sorry, love. I need to finish this and I’ll be with you.”

Remus sighed and sat awkwardly on the bed. He spent ten minutes staring at a black dot in the floor when Regulus finally threw his arms around his neck, kissing him full in the lips.

“Sorry, I have had a lot of work since… you know.”

Remus nodded, understandingly. They continued kissing. After a few solid minutes, the kisses became insufficient and they started touching every part of each other’s bodies they could.

They fell to the bed, collapsing into a sea of moans, heavy breathing and nakedness.

* * *

 

When Remus woke up, he realized it was the second time he did it in that bed to find nobody by his side. He checked for a note, prepared for it this time. There was nothing. He got up and, with a feeling of deja vu, looked for his clothes. Once dressed, he checked the bathroom but Regulus was not there either.

He silently climbed down the stairs. Thinking he heard a voice coming from the closed living room door, he came up there. He stopped right in front of the door, realizing there were several voices, not just Regulus’.

“…Severus, I insist. We should talk to Tom before doing anything.” Remus didn’t recognize that female voice but it still sent unpleasant shivers down his spine.

“My cousin is right, Snape. He would be furious.” This time the owner of the voice was Regulus.

Something clicked inside his head. _Severus Snape._ He had heard that name in the news. He tried to remember what it was about and almost gasped when he did. The man was accused of attacking a couple of black men and of being part of the racist and homophobic group named _Death Eaters._ Remus took a few steps back, horrified. He unfortunately stumbled upon an ugly umbrella stand and the living room became silent.

“I thought you were alone, Regulus.” Remus heard his apparent cousin hiss.

“I… am. That must have been Kreacher.”

“Kreacher would have already burst through the door apologising. There is someone here.”

In the horrendous silence of the house, Remus could even hear Regulus’ panicked breathing. He tried getting up but when he managed it, it was already too late.

A tall, beautiful woman with long, thick, shining black hair appeared in front of him, an evil smile situated in her thin lips which made her heavy-lidded eyes gleam menacingly.

“Isn’t this…?” the woman began.

“The faggot that made Regulus’ parents believe they were together?” a new voice claimed. He stared at the face of a man that looked almost like a wolf. “Is he, Black?”

Remus couldn’t see Regulus from where he was, surrounded by the two unfamiliar people. He did, though, hear his low voice. “Yeah, he, he is.” Remus eyes widened in horror. “Kreacher must have let him in. He is delusional. He really thinks we are together.”

Remus didn’t understand a thing. All he knew was that the animalistic looking man suddenly hit him in the stomach, making him double over in pain.

He felt another pair of hands hitting him in the face and Remus could feel blood emerging from his nose. He tried to defend himself but it was useless. The two men attacking him had thrown him to the floor and were kicking him. The pain was too much. Remus felt like he could not breathe and there was blood everywhere.

“Stop! Severus, Fenrir!” he heard Regulus shriek. “Stop it! Not here! Not in my house!”

The kicking stopped. Remus looked up. He could finally look at his boyfriend. He could see an expression of horror masked by a hateful one.

“Leave.”

Remus didn’t think it twice. He got up and ran to the door, his whole body aching. Before stepping outside, he could hear the group laugh. He could hear Regulus laugh.

* * *

 

Ignoring the people asking him if he needed help, Remus walked down the street, disoriented. He thought of calling Lily but then refused to do it, as he did not want to ruin his date.

He heard a car approaching and threw a glance over his shoulder. He saw a black car and called for it, realizing it was a taxi.

When he got inside, the taxi driver, an extremely tall man with a huge beard, looked at him warily. Remus stared at himself in the rear mirror. He had dry blood in his face and many bruises.

“Wanna go ter the hospita’?” the man asked.

Remus shook his head. Making a stupid decision, he said. “Do you know where Padfoot Ink. is? I think it is in the centre but…”

“Ah! Yeah, the owne’ ‘s a good frien’ of me.”

Nodding, the driver began the trip, casting preoccupied glances back at him once in a while. Remus barely felt any pain, his head recalling the evening’s events. _What was Regulus doing with people like Severus Snape?_ Remus anguishedly thought. _And why did he say those things about me? Why didn’t he defend me?_

“We are here.” The driver said with a thick accent. Remus looked through the window. He could see a black signboard with red gothic letters that read the name of the tattoo studio.

“Thank you.” Remus handed the bearded man the money and got off the car.

He stood in front of the shop for several minutes, not daring to enter. Many people passing casted afraid looks at him, which reminded him of his state. He put his hand on the door handle. He noticed it was sweating. He felt his cheeks reddening and making up his mind, he pulled the door open.

Behind a glass counter stood a blonde girl with full lips. She mechanically smiled but the smile faded from her face as soon as she saw his bloody face.

“Do you need help?” she asked, her frown burrowed.

“I need Sirius.” The words were out of his mouth before he even thought about them. Something about saying that phrase felt so bad yet so good in many ways.

“Ok. Right.” Without any other word, she headed for a door on her left.

A second later, Sirius appeared. When he saw Remus, he just stood there for a moment. It seemed like he was trying to understand what had happened.

“Remus?” he said, moving closer to him. “Who did this to you?”

Lupin blushed under his gaze. “Can we talk alone?”

Sirius nodded, his eyes never leaving his face. “Sure. Follow me.”

They went to the door and entered a room where there was a stretcher and a table with ink pots, many tools and gloves. There also was a small desk and chair in the other corner.

“Did my brother do this to you?” Sirius immediately asked once the door closed.

“No… not really.” He said, not looking at Sirius in the eye.

“What do you mean with _not really_?

“Look,” he started. “I really don’t want to talk about this right now. I… I came here for something else.”

“What for?”

Remus locked eyes with the black-haired man. They stared at each other for a long time. Stepping closer, Remus said:

“You.”

And with that, Remus kissed Sirius.


	9. Worth it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy you are enjoying the story.

Every part of their bodies was touching. Remus could even feel Sirius’ long eyelashes fluttering against his skin. Their mouths moved like one, as if they were used to the contact. Remus couldn’t think of anything. He couldn’t concentrate enough to realize how wrong what he was doing was. The kiss was nothing he ever experienced. It carried such amount of emotion it was overwhelming. It carried so much passion that their mouths were not enough. Remus moved his hands down Sirius’ back, pulling him closer. The other man moaned into his mouth, which caused the kiss to deepen.

They were moving, not that any of the two really cared about it. Remus felt a slight pain on his legs and then felt an oddly soft texture and realized they were half lying on the stretcher. Sirius moved his mouth to Remus’ neck, eliciting an excited grunt from him. It was only when Remus’ hand touched Sirius’ crotch that the later pulled apart.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Although their mouths were no longer in contact, the rest of their body parts were. “Remus, this not right.”

Remus stared at him, dumbfounded. “What the fuck do you mean, _not right?_ Are you telling me I imagined you flirting with me the whole time?”

Sirius blinked a few times, a small smile on his face. “Oh, I was. But you are upset and that’s why you are doing this.”

“I’m not!” Remus protested. “I am attracted to you!” he blurted out and immediately regretted it.

Sirius fully smirked this time. “Trust me, I know. And I am, too.” Remus felt something dancing inside his stomach. “But we should talk. Look, we could go to James’ flat. He is not there, anyway. And I have a set of keys. Ok?”

Remus nodded, not even stopping to think about it. Sirius grabbed his hand, exited the room and told the blonde girl to close the shop for the day and go home early. The girl just smiled at the two of them, her eyes lingering a bit too long on their handhold.

“I did not bring the bike, do you mind getting a taxi?”

Remus shook his head, his mind unable to function correctly feeling the smooth skin of the boy’s hand. They waited for a few minutes until a black car appeared. Sirius told the driver their destination and they set off.

* * *

 James Potter’s flat was bigger and cleaner than Remus would have bet. A black leather sofa stood out in the middle of the room. To its left, there were two doors separated by a framed black and white picture of the flat’s owner and Sirius.

They looked younger; James’ glasses had been circular instead of the nerdy squares he used nowadays. Sirius’ hair was shorter but his features remained as beautiful and sharp as now. The picture seemed spontaneous; both of them had been laughing and hugging each other by the shoulders.

“Remus.” Sirius interrupted his thoughts. “Sit.”

He was signalling the sofa. Remus complied and Sirius followed him, sitting too close to him. They were silent for some minutes until the black-haired boy realized Remus was not going to start talking on his own.

“Are you going to tell me what happened to you?” he asked, grabbing his hand. “You can trust me.”

Remus felt warm and cosy, like one feels when they are home. Remus’ eyes met Sirius’. He was suddenly vomiting word after word, recalling everything that had happened. For some unknown reason, Remus figured out he really could trust Sirius.

Sirius stopped him a few times, telling him the woman that had been there was their cousin indeed. She was named Bellatrix and had a reputation of being extremely dangerous. Sirius also told him that he supposed the animalistic looking man was Fenrir Greyback, someone so unpleasant that even though he had similar views to Sirius' parents, they still despised him.

When he finished his story, Sirius was red faced. His expression was nothing but furious. Remus felt scared, not having expected such reaction.

“That asshole.” He spat. “What does he think he is doing, joining the Death Eaters?”

Sirius stood up and started pacing back and forth, occasionally ruffling his hair with his hand. Remus wondered if he had done the wrong thing, telling him about what happened.

“Sirius, please. Calm down.”

“I can’t! Remus, look at yourself. Those pricks hurt you so much. But my stupid brother is the one who hurt you the deepest. I thought he was different, you know? But he is as bad as my parents!”

Remus let those words sink in. What if Sirius was right? His parents had been awful to him, had even physically hurt him. What was different about Regulus? _Nothing,_ Remus thought. He allowed his friends to assault and insult him. Sirius was right but it was too painful to even think about.

Sirius sat back down by his side, noticing his weakened expression. “Remus, Remus. Look at me.”

His eyes locked with Sirius’. This close, Remus noticed they were not completely grey, like Regulus’ were. They had blue speckles that made them be a lighter shade. If Remus had to choose a favourite body part of the man, he was sure he would choose those amazing orbs.

Sirius did not say anything. He just moved his head closer to Remus. The later sat frozen, every coherent thought disappearing. He leaned in, their foreheads now touching.

It was Sirius who started the kiss this time. It was nothing like their first. They kissed slowly, gently. Sirius’ tongue entered his mouth sensually, making Remus dizzy. The dark-haired man sat on his lap, his arms wrapped around the other’s neck. Remus put both hands on Sirius’ hair, amazed by how soft it was.

They didn’t hear the front door opening nor the two gasps or keys falling to the floor. They kept making out, the mood heating up every second that passed. It was only when both people that had entered the flat exclaimed “Padfoot!” and “Remus!” that they noticed they were not alone anymore.

They pulled apart quickly, Sirius falling to the floor in his attempt to get off Remus. They ashamedly stared at the two people behind them. Lily and James stared back.

Remus saw Lily’s astonished expression turning to a horrified one the minute she noticed his face. She rapidly ran to his side, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“What the hell happened to you?”

Remus sighed and, reluctantly, told the three people in front of him the story for the second time that day. Sirius looked as angry as the first time he had heard it.

* * *

 Sirius and James decided it appropriate to leave the two friends alone for a while. They went to the kitchen, closing the door behind them. They sat in the small, round table in silence. Sirius could still feel a tingling sensation on his lips.

“Are you going to tell me why you were snogging your brother’s boyfriend or are we going to pretend I just walked in a normal situation?” James talked all of the sudden.

“He kissed me first.” Sirius quickly stated, as though it was an appropriate excuse.

“What?” James asked, his jaw dropping. Sirius nodded, a small smile making his way up his face.

“Yep. He came to the shop and kissed me.”

“And so you brought him here to what? Keep kissing? Something else?” his best friend suggested.

“No!” Sirius retorted, offended. “I brought him here to talk. The kissing just kinda… happened.”

James glared at him, his face silently saying _really, now? “_ Sirius, if this is about your revenge against Regulus…”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Leave me alone, Prongs. He liked it. I’m not doing anything wrong.”

James looked at him, done in. “This guy is going through a lot right now, Sirius. He is confused and you are going to end up hurting him.”

Sirius ignored him, although what his friend had just said left his ears ringing and an awful feeling on the bottom of his stomach.

“So, coming back to the flat after the first date? That’s my boy.” He said instead.

James threw him the first thing he could find: an old calendar that was hanging on the fridge. Sirius was not fast enough to dodge it.

* * *

 When James and Sirius went back to the living room, Lily was hugging Remus, tears streaming down her face. Remus opened his eyes and realized the two boys were there. Pulling himself apart from the weeping girl, he cleared his throat, suddenly very aware that the man that he had been snogging to oblivion half an hour earlier was now standing in front of him.

“We should go home.” Lily said, her voice husky from all the crying. James nodded. He looked at Sirius pointedly and his friend understood immediately.

“Let’s leave these two lovebirds alone for a minute.” He told Remus, his voice unnecessarily loud.

After two stern looks from James and Lily, Remus and Sirius went outside the flat, standing awkwardly in the corridor. Remus avoided any eye contact, whereas Sirius tried to catch it. They went on like that for a while, until Sirius got tired of it.

“If you want to just forget about what happened between us, just say it, Remus.” The other man murmured something unintelligible. “What?”

“I don’t think I want to forget it.”

Sirius smiled. Remus finally locked eyes with him, making the black-haired boy go weak at the knees. He just realized how beautiful those eyes were and how much pain they held. Sirius thought it was unfair, for someone as nice as Remus to suffer so much.

“Me neither.” He said, closing the gap between them.

It was as any other of their kisses, the sensation of fireworks exploding behind their eyelids overwhelming both boys. It only lasted thirty seconds, as Lily walked in them, disapprovingly clearing her throat.

James was standing in the doorway, looking as disappointed as the red-haired. Sirius didn’t care at all, the feeling of kissing Remus was worth anything.

He was not sure if revenge was supposed to feel this great.


	10. Help.

When they arrived to the flat, Remus went immediately to his bedroom, avoiding a conversation with Lily. He stood in front of the large standing mirror, not really looking at his reflection. He could hear the slow sound of the traffic and the birds chirping. He finally stared at himself. His face was carrying horrible bruises, which were turning purple. Lily had wiped the blood off his face but Remus could remember the feeling of it as Snape and Greyback had hit him, while Regulus had done nothing to stop it.

He shook his head, making the unwanted thoughts about Regulus go away. His head moved to Sirius instead, which brought a tiny smile to his aching face.

He knew it was wrong, what he had done. After all, Regulus and Remus were still together, despite those evening events. Now that he thought about it, Remus wondered how the relationship was going to be. He didn’t want to see the other boy nor talk to him. He found the fact of being in front of the younger Black unappealing.

He lay on the bed and closed his eyes. With the memory of a smirking Sirius Black hovering on top of his lap and the disgusted face of Regulus Black while being physically abused, he fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

 He woke up due to Lily’s screams. He didn’t quite understand what she was saying at first. He just stayed with his eyes closed, trying to fall asleep again. When he heard his name, though, he couldn’t avoid listening to her anymore.

He got up and quickly went outside his room. As soon as he did it, he cursed. He wanted to turn his back to the scene in front of his eyes. He couldn’t, though. Regulus, who was standing outside their flat, Lily not letting him in, had locked eyes with him. It seemed to paralyze Remus, who suddenly couldn’t move his legs at all. 

There was a strange look on Regulus face, like of regret. He tried not to empathise, reminding himself that this boy was the same that had allowed his friends to give him the bruises he was now carrying.

“Remus.” Regulus whispered loud enough for him to hear. Lily casted a glance over her shoulder, worrying her lower lip.

“I told him to leave, Remus but he won’t.” Lily said, afraid he would think Lily hadn’t tried to get the boy away from him.

“It’s ok. I can’t avoid talking to him, can I?”

Lily nodded, although she looked reluctant to leave the two of them alone. With a pointed look from Remus, she went to the kitchen, not fully closing the door behind her.

Regulus and Remus stood there, metres between them. None of them talked for a while, Mr. Robinson’s, their neighbour, out of tune singing entering the awkwardly silent room.

“Remus… I’m so sorry. I really am.” Regulus finally spoke. Those words started an angry fire inside Remus. He didn’t believe the boy. How could he be sorry now? He should have been the exact moment Remus had left his house. He should have gone behind him. He should have stopped Remus from doing something stupid because of Regulus’ own stupidity.

“I wanted to stop them… I truly wanted to but I was afraid.” He continued, not minding Remus’ hateful face. “They are… dangerous.”

“Oh, don’t tell me.” Remus sneered, his tone coming out of his mouth harsher than he intended. “I didn’t quite get that while they were hitting me to death.”

“Remus, please.” The other boy whined, his dark, gleaming eyes staring pleadingly at him.

“Why the fuck were you with that people in the first place, Regulus?” he asked, finally getting what had been bothering him so much out of his system. “They are fucking Death Eaters!”

“I….”

“DEATH EATERS, REGULUS!” Remus screamed, not letting the other boy talk.

“I KNOW!” Regulus roared back, successfully shutting Remus up. “I know, ok?” he said, calmer. “I… I thought it was a good idea joining them, at first. My cousin Bellatrix talked me into it. But now… I’ve seen everything they are capable of, Remus. It’s horrible. But I am so afraid of leaving them now… They would kill me.”

Regulus finished talking in a soft whisper, his words hitting Remus in the chest. He tried not to believe him. He tried to see it was all a bad, stupid joke.

The worst thing was, though, that Remus did believe him. He suddenly realized that Regulus joining a group so treacherous made sense to him. After reading all of his articles written for his parents’ newspaper, after knowing what line of thought his family followed and how eager Regulus was to please them. After all of that, Remus was not surprised.

It hurt so much. It hurt so much because he knew Regulus didn’t share those kinds of thoughts. But what hurt even more was that Remus knew that if Regulus had to choose between himself and his family, he would choose the later, unblinkingly. Even though his family were toxic to him. Even though they wanted the best for them, not for him. Even though they had harmed him so deeply. He would choose them; he would choose to indulge them. Always.

Remus felt bad for him, he really did. But he felt worse for himself. He couldn’t nor wanted to put up with it. He didn’t think he had the strength to do it. He wished he could, though. Because he noticed that Regulus needed help as soon as possible but Remus was not the right person to do it.

“Regulus…” he started and then sighed. “I cannot be with you anymore.”

Regulus gasped, stepping closer to him, finally entering the flat. He heard something falling to the floor, a sound that came from the kitchen. He could even hear his own rapid breaths and his thundering heart. Regulus stretched his arm, as if to touch him, but thought better of it and let it fall to his side.

“I can’t be with you anymore because I don’t know who you are.” Regulus started to protest but Remus quickly shut him up with a movement of his hand. “You are not a Death Eater, Regulus. At least, you don’t think like them. You were seduced by the potential it had to make daddy and mommy proud.”

“That’s not true!” Regulus shouted, his face going red.

“It is!” he retorted. “You always do everything that pleases them. The one time you didn’t, the time you told them about me, it all went to shit. So now you are doing this… extremely stupid thing to amend it. When will you start living for yourself? When will you stop being so fucking submissive?” He realised he was shouting by now, his dry throat complaining.

It came so fast, Remus didn’t realize Regulus had punched him at first. He fell to the floor. From there, he stared wide-eyed at Regulus, who was rapidly stepping back, his moves dullish.

“I’m so sorry. I…”

“Leave.” He pleaded with a weak voice. “Just go away.”

He complied, his feet dragging him outside. Remus didn’t get up but still stopped him with an abrupt question.

“Who is Tom, Regulus?”

He didn’t answer for a while, his back tensely staring back at him. He patiently waited for him to reply, knowing beforehand he was not going to like what he would hear.

“The one I fear the most.”

* * *

James loved Sundays. There was a specific reason, although he was ashamed to admit it. On Sundays, Sirius would be one of the few people to open his shop. Moreover, Sirius opened it for the whole day, which during weekdays he did not.

James, as a normal person, did not work on Sunday. Then, that day of the week meant relaxing. He would stay in all day in his pyjamas, no Sirius around to annoy him.

Don’t get him wrong, James loved Sirius like he loved few people (like his father and his mother) but he was still a pain in the ass. Sirius would get bored easily and would opt to destroy his flat, which James was extremely fond of. They also had a good time – that was mostly always – but the calm of a Sunday was something he loved.

So, why did someone even venture to ring his doorbell at this time of the day? It was past midday and James was lying down on his leather sofa after a good lunch that had consisted of leftovers that tasted even better when microwaved. But now, he was not relaxing anymore. He was walking, reluctantly, to his door. He saw a familiar and tense face through the peephole but he was still completely dumbfounded to see that boy standing outside his flat.

“Remus?” he greeted him, opening the door. The other boy smiled, or rather tried to. He smiled back, not really knowing what to say. Until it hit him. “Sirius isn’t here.”

Remus blushed. He started stumbling over his words, making his face go even redder.

“I’m not here for Sirius.” He finally managed to say. James raised an eyebrow, a curious but confused expression settling on his face.

“Oh.” He simply replied. Again, he was lost for words.

“I am here for you.” The pale boy stated. James’ hazel eyes widened. “I need to talk to you about Regulus.”

If James had thought the boy’s appearance was unexpected, now he could not describe how confused he was.

* * *

 

“Regulus is a Death Eater?” James asked shocked due to everything Remus had just told him.

“Please don’t tell Sirius.” The other boy begged.

“I can’t do that, Remus. Sorry.”

“At least I tried.” He replied with a small smile.

They were sitting on the kitchen chairs, two opened bottles of beer standing on the table. James still felt the situation extremely awkward. He was talking to his hopefully soon-to-be girlfriend’s best friend about his recently ex-boyfriend. What’s more, this same boy was the one he had walked in kissing James’ best friend, who happened to be his ex-boyfriend’s brother.

Yeah, it was all very uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, James intently listened to every word Remus said. Regulus being a Death Eater had surprised him a lot. Although once the shock had worn off, he could see the logic of it.

“I thought that maybe… as you are Sirius’ best friend… I thought that maybe you could help me to help Reg, you know? Maybe Sirius had told you something useful.” Remus rambled on. “I thought I did the right thing, letting him go. But now that I think about it, I have to help him. He is in danger or so he said.”

“Remus! Remus, stop!” James said, interrupting him. “You did the right thing. You were not good to each other.”

Remus stared at him, his eyes glassy. James thought that it would be even more awkward if the boy started crying. He sighed and tried to find a sensible way to say the next thing.

“I always thought and I have always told him,” he started “that the only person who could help Regulus was Sirius.” Remus flinched at the mention of his name and James rolled his eyes. “He is the only one that knows exactly how their parents are and he is also the only one who could escape them. But Regulus hurt Sirius very badly and both of them are too stubborn to talk to each other.”

Remus nodded and a sudden silence surrounded them. The small window above the kitchen sink let a ray of sunshine enter the room, lighting Remus’ face up. James noticed how young and tired he looked like that, all of his emotions uncovered.

“We can’t help them, Remus.” James said. “I’ve tried but it’s just not possible. Sirius and Regulus hate each other.”

* * *

 Although the talk with James did not alleviate the terrible sensation that was torturing Remus, he repeatedly thanked him for listening to him. As soon as Regulus had left his flat, Remus had felt terrible. He had felt the need to talk to someone but Lily wouldn’t do. He had thought of Sirius but he then had realized he was not sure how to talk to the gorgeous boy about his brother.

So, he had thought of James. He was glad the man even accepted to talk to him and to hear him out. He said good-bye and got up to leave the flat.

Once outside, he walked to the elevator. He entered it and pressed the ground floor button. When the doors opened again, he was astonished to see a pair of grey and blue eyes staring right back at him.

“Hey.” Sirius said, softly.

“Hey.” He replied.

He thought that the only good thing to do would be to part from the boy and run to the closest bus stop.

He found out, though, that today he tasted of cinnamon and cigarettes.


	11. Fear.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sexy times (not so sexy because I'm crap and awkward writing them)

They kept things going like that for a while. Remus and Sirius would meet for lunch during weekdays and the later even stayed over at Remus’ place some nights. It painfully reminded him of his old relationship with Regulus but he was careful to never bring up the younger Black in one of their many conversations.

That was what Remus liked about his… thing with Sirius. They talked a lot about anything and everything; it was not just something physical. Right now, Sirius’ head on his lap, they were talking about University, Black constantly reminding him he was wasting his time there.

“Come on, you must be passionate about something.”

Remus rolled his eyes, mildly annoyed. It was not the first time Sirius was curious about why he chose Law, implying he was never happy when he talked about it. Actually, Sirius had said that when Remus talked about his career, his expression would turn anguished and stressed.

He wouldn’t tell Sirius he was right. He wouldn’t tell himself that his lover was right. He was doing what he was meant to do, what everyone expected him to do. Indeed, it was no passion of his but Remus had learnt a long time ago to not do what he wanted but what people presumed was best for him.

He thought of how ironic it was; he had told his ex-boyfriend to stop being submissive and Remus couldn’t think of another word that described him so well.

“I am not.” Remus said, emphasizing each word.

“I bet you have an amazing voice that does a lot more than just moan my name.”

Remus blushed and used his free hand (the other one was caressing his lover’s hair) to hit a laughing Sirius.

Their sex life was also another advantage of their affair. Remus had just recently found out the amount of stamina his body could handle and all thanks to Sirius Black.

He also discovered Sirius was a gentle and generous lover, much to his surprise. He would always make sure Remus was as satisfied – or even more – as he was. Sex with Regulus had been wonderful but it had also been quick and hidden. With the older Black, though, it was something else – it was heavenly.

“I bet you are good at dancing. I mean, you cannot only move that well in bed.”

Hitting him again, Remus buried his face in the pillow. With a loud cry of victory, Sirius grabbed his face, forcing Remus to look directly at him. Sirius’ expression was triumphant; he was widely smiling and his eyes were gleaming, which accentuated the blue specks on them.

“You do!”

“Shut up!”

“Show me!”

“No!”

Their amusing argument went on for a while, until Sirius got too tired of it. Remus sighed when he did, thinking he was not going to be interrogated about his secret passion anymore.

He was wrong.

“Why haven’t you done something about it?”

“It does not pay the bills.” Remus replied, resentfully imitating his parents’ words.

Sirius stared at him, gawking. “That’s bullshit. It’s a job like any other.”

Remus rolled over in the bed, turning his back to Sirius. He stared at the white wall in front of him. He felt Sirius’ hand on his exposed side, which sent a shiver down his spine.

“It’s extremely hard to make a living as a dancer, Sirius. There is no point trying.”

Sirius protested, his voice sounding higher than it really was in the silent room. Remus closed his eyes, wishing they would change the topic.

“You deserve to do what you like.” Sirius said in a soft whisper, interlacing their fingers. “You deserve to be happy.”

Remus only wished it were that easy.

* * *

 

_1 month later._

The only thing that could be heard was the echoing of his steps, the unlighted and empty avenue only inhabited by an unnerving looking man. He walked until a tall, dark building came into view. The mahogany door waited for him. He opened it, being careful to not make any sound.

He was greeted by a cold and abandoned environment. The few pieces of furniture inside were full of dust. At the back of the room there was a library that, instead of books, had different golden objects. He walked over and grabbed the nearest one. It was an old locket. On the back of it, the initials R.A.B were inscribed in elegant, silver letters.

As if on cue, the owner of the object appeared through the back door. When he saw the other man, he stood still, fear flooding his eyes. The second man smiled, making his handsome features disappear. His teeth were extremely white; they shone in the dark room, making him look scarier.

“Finally, Black.” He sneered. Black recoiled, his back hitting the solid surface that was the door. “I have been looking for you for a long time.”

* * *

 

Playing Monopoly with James was such not a good idea. He would get extremely competitive and would forget that the game wasn’t real and that the boy in front of him was his best friend since always – not his archenemy.

But there they were, James roaring with laughter because Sirius had ended up in prison for the fifth time and Sirius glaring at the bespectacled boy, throwing his small, silver top hat off the table.

“Sore loser.” James said in between hiccups. He grabbed a bottle of beer and was about to give Sirius one when he noticed his friend was stuffing clothes into his backpack. “Going anywhere?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Remus’” he muttered, barely audible.

“Again?” he inquired, his hand absentmindedly playing with the discarded beer bottle tap. Sirius shrugged his shoulders, coming into the kitchen. He picked up the bottle James offered him and easily opened it with his hand – something James had always admired.

“Lily is out of town. Went to see her parents. So…”

“Oh.” James replied, the mention of the redhead sending a shiver down his spine.

“You didn’t know?” the long-haired man asked, dragging the bottle off his swollen lips.

“Eh, we haven’t been talking much. She said she’s busy with exams.”

“Well, I’ve seen her studying but…”

“What?”

James tone was almost panicky, high-pitched. Sirius smiled sympathetically. He had been like that for a while now; moping because Lily wouldn’t go out with him to a second date or glowing because the redhead had answered a text.

“She’s not that busy, she even hangs out with us.” Sirius smirked. “When we are not fuc…”

James put his two hands on his ears, blocking his friend’s voice. Sirius laughed although his ears had gone slightly red.

“Enough of Evans.” James suddenly said, falsely smiling. “When are you going to dump Lupin?”

Sirius frowned in confusion. He stared at James for a few seconds and his friend’s smile faltered until completely disappearing. Sirius’ expression went blank again.

“Not gonna.” He murmured.

“What?” James said, disbelievingly. “I thought this was about revenge? And that as your brother was no longer with him you were going to end it?”

Sirius said nothing and instead started playing with a strand of his long, dark hair. James continued to gape at him, his eyes exceptionally wide. His face was a bit red now, something that had never happened to Sirius before.

“It’s not about revenge anymore, is it?” James slowly asked, as if the words were too hard to say. “You have feelings for him?”

He stayed silent, completely out of words. The thing was, Sirius Black had never ran out of words, not even after a terrific fight with his parents or after being told off by James because he thought he had an unhealthy relationship with cigarettes.

Sirius remained in silence because he didn’t want to tell his friend the truth. It was true that at first it had all been about revenge. The feeling of getting back at his brother had been intoxicating, it had filled his whole body with joy. Now, though, that the couple had broken up, Sirius still felt that way but he knew, somehow, that it was not because of Regulus. It was because of Remus.

Remus with his golden curls that were too long and fell into his face, which made him look adorable. Remus with his fond and soft smile when Sirius said something absolutely ridiculous. Remus with his hands that had touched his body so many times. Remus with that feeling he gave him every time they saw each other, like it was the happiest day of his life.

“Gotta go.” Sirius said, finally shutting up his brain.

James didn’t stop him nor tried to, a knowing gleam dancing in his eyes.

* * *

 

The rain was providing them of a background sound while their two bodies danced together. Remus moved down, placing kisses over Sirius’ long torso. The other boy gasped when his tongue found the spot on his side that made him see stars. Remus licked one, two, three times until the dark-haired boy dragged him up, meeting his mouth halfway in a fierce kiss.

Their hands were everywhere. Sirius touched Remus’ scarred back, which filled him with questions about how he got them. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind, preferring to savour the moment.

When Remus’ long, experienced fingers circled themselves around Sirius’ erection, his mind went totally blank. He did the same to the other boy and together, they submerged into a pleasure ocean, their hands moving in rapid motions, their mouths emitting lustful moans.

Somewhere in the room, Sirius’ phone started going off. At first, they didn’t give it much thought, too concentrated in their activities. When it insisted for several minutes, Remus commanded Sirius to go and get it.

With a groan, Sirius got up the bed and walked over Remus’ dark cabinet. His phone was still ringing on top of it. Remus distracted himself watching his lover’s body, not believing he was allowed to touch it, to kiss it…

Remus’ daydreaming was interrupted by a loud gasp. He directed his eyes to Sirius’ face; he was met by a strange sight: his face had drained of all colours, his eyes were wide as plates and the hand that was holding the phone to his ear was trembling. Remus frowned, asking himself what had happened that made Sirius lose his cool like that.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He finalized the call. When he hung up, he just stood there, all his body shivering now.

“Sirius?” Remus said, getting up. They seemed unbothered by their complete lack of clothing. Actually, it was as if Sirius didn’t register where he was or who he was with anymore. His eyes were distant, his body unresponsive. “What is it?”

Leaving the trance, Sirius sighed sadly and for the first time since he answered his phone, he looked Remus in the eyes. His were full of worry and, if he was not mistaken, sadness.

“It’s Regulus.” He informed Remus, who suddenly felt very cold. “He’s at the hospital.” He said every word very slowly, as if they hurt him. “Someone tried to kill him


	12. Love.

During the whole ride, Sirius’ body was tense, his eyes never leaving the road. He didn’t speak, either. Remus’ hands were around his waist but none of them felt the excitement that usually appeared with a motorbike ride.

Remus went over Sirius’ words again and again, which never made any sense. Who would try to kill Regulus and why? He remembered the man telling him that Death Eaters were capable of doing it but he had thought Regulus was overdoing it. He felt guilty, thinking that if he had heard him, he could have avoided the boy getting hurt.

The engine died, telling Remus that they had finally arrived. They got off the bike in silence, the wind making Sirius’ hair wild. He looked paler than ever, his already white skin had a yellowish shade. Remus had no doubt that he was in a similar state, feeling sick inside.

“I think…” Sirius spoke for the first time in a long time, his hoarse voice surprising Remus. “I think you shouldn’t go into the room with me…”

“Yeah.” Remus said, knowing that it was the best thing to do. “Yes, I know.”

They stood there for a while, looking at each other. After a few minutes, Remus grabbed his hand, giving it a little squeeze. Sirius smiled; his smile was small, pained. Remus wanted to kiss it away, to assure him that everything would be all right.

He didn’t, though. He let Sirius’ hand go and looked away, not wanting to delay him anymore. He watched his retreating back going inside the hospital, his long coat billowing after him.

And suddenly, out of the blue, Remus realized.

_Sirius cares about Regulus._

* * *

 The hospital hall was full of people, kids shouting, parents reprehending them and grownups crying of pain. Despite this, Sirius felt like he was walking through an empty room. His steps felt one heavier than the other, his ears were buzzing.

He walked to the reception desk, a blonde boy behind it offering him an exhausted smile.

“You called me because of Regulus Black.”

The boy’s smile faltered and he began searching for something on his computer. Sirius’ bad habit of biting his nails returned while he waited, the screaming boy asking his father for a soda not helping his anxiety.

After a few minutes, the receptionist looked up once more. “Room 711. Third floor.”

With a grateful nod, Sirius started walking to the elevator. The doors opened almost immediately and also as quickly, he was on the third floor.

It didn’t take him long to find the room, being the second door on the right. His hand ghosted over the door handle, not really sure whether he was prepared for what was waiting him inside.

He finally opened the door. Regulus was stiffly lying on the bed, shirtless. His torso was bandaged, red stains on the gauzes. He was asleep, his chest rising and falling in slow motions.

Sirius sat down in the chair beside the bed. He did it carefully, not wanting to wake his brother up. Once there, he observed the boy more closely. His face was swollen, his lip splitted.

His eye caught something uncovered and red. He ran his eyes down, meeting an awful sight. There, in Regulus’ right arm, a word had been carved into his skin.

**TRAITOR**

“Hello, brother.”

Sirius jumped, the voice scaring him. He looked at his brother’s face. He was smiling, the look almost cynical. But his eyes told him another story. His eyes showed him pain and a cry for help.

“Hello.” He conscientiously said, not fully understanding why he of all people was there yet.

“I forgot you were my emergency number.” Regulus laughed, the sound of it reverberating around the room. Sirius shifted in his seat.

“Emergency number?”

“Yes. I didn’t want it to be mother and father so once I became of age I changed it to you. Didn’t have many options, did I?”

Something fluttered inside Sirius but he decided to ignore it. He cleared his throat several times before asking him what he wanted to know ever since that phone call.

“Who did this?”

Regulus smiled again in that disturbing way before talking. “A friend.”

Sirius stared at him, wondering if his brother had finally lost his mind. He wouldn’t be surprised, as he was still enduring their parents. Regulus’ smile did not disappear.

“Regulus…” Sirius started, his patience fading.

“Tom Riddle.” Regulus answered, interrupting his brother.

None of them talked, they just stared at each other. Sirius’ eyes were wide, the vein in his head throbbing almost painfully. Regulus had an unexpected blank expression, one that not even Sirius could decipher.

He wondered how much of his brother he didn’t know, how much of a stranger he was. When they were kids, both of them could read each other like open books. However, after the article incident, everything changed. They stopped talking, Sirius never saw him as a source of comfort anymore after their parents’ usual beating, and Regulus never again looked at him admiringly. Orion and Walburga made sure that they hated each other. Sirius never before thought they had succeeded and neither did he think it now. But what they did successfully was to keep them apart. They were not brothers anymore and all thanks to their parents.

It hurt. Sirius missed Regulus, now more than ever. But he was not the sweet boy that wanted to be like him anymore. He was a grownup now. He was someone who could and had made his own decisions. Decisions that almost had him killed…

“The mass murderer Tom Riddle?”

Regulus nodded once, twice and then started laughing maniacally. Sirius felt afraid, his theory of his brother’s madness becoming more possible.

“It was all Remus’ fault, you know?”

Sirius got up the chair really quickly, a deep blush creeping into his face at the mention of his lover’s name. “How is it his fault?” he asked, rather defensively.

“He always said that I had to be more independent, that I had to make my own decisions.” Regulus smiled; it was a fond smile this time. Sirius felt a slow and jealous fire on the pit of his stomach. “So I did. I left the Death Eaters. And now…” he finished, gesturing his bloody bandages.

“What does Tom Riddle have to do with Death Eaters?”

Regulus rolled his eyes, as if his brother's lack of understanding was something unusual. “He is the leader. He considers anyone that leaves a traitor.” He said, putting his carved arm in display.

“You were part of Tom Riddle's gang?” Sirius asked, his voice high-pitched because of the shock.

“Yes.” Regulus admitted. “He doesn’t want people to know that Death Eaters and he are the same thing. Thinks it’s too dangerous for now. But the police is already suspicious.”

“What about you?” Sirius asked, his worry unmasked. “Is he going to try to kill you again?”

Regulus shrugged, the movement seemed painful. “Maybe. I don’t know. Maybe this was enough, maybe not. Maybe he didn’t try to kill me, just to hurt me. You never know with him.”

Sirius bit his lip, and became suddenly very interested in his shoelaces, which were bright red. The sound of the ticking clock could be heard, filling the awkward silence. Regulus was looking at the ceiling, his left-hand fingers distractedly tracing the word on his right arm.

“I miss him.” Regulus suddenly said, his voice coming out with a sob. Sirius looked up, startled. Silent tears rolled down his brother’s face.

Regulus was broken. It was the first time Sirius saw such emotion on his brother, used to the blank façade he had built.

“I love him, Sirius. I lost him, I hurt him. But I love him.” Regulus sighed, trying – but failing – to regain composure. “I love Remus.”

All of the sudden, Sirius found the task of breathing a very hard one. The room seemed too small, feeling trapped. An overwhelming sensation filled him. He could not believe that it took his brother confessing his feelings about the boy for Sirius to realize that he was, also, in love with Remus Lupin.

 _I love Remus._ His mind repeated those words like a mantra. He didn’t know if it was his voice or his brother’s. He just knew that he couldn’t bear to be in the same room as Regulus right now.

So he ran.

* * *

 Loving Remus shouldn’t have felt like a burden but it certainly did. Sirius hadn’t planned on it, didn’t even think that falling in love with him was possible. Loving Remus meant pain. Loving Remus meant that he would be heart-broken once the boy realized how complicated Sirius was and that he would be better off returning to his brother.

Sirius, as he had learnt from his parents’ hate speeches, was worth nothing. Nobody would ever love him and if someone did, they would soon realize that he was too broken for someone to even try a relationship with him. Sirius had always thought everything his parents said was bullshit. Everything but that. He had believed those words the first moment he heard them. They had made him scared of love.

He almost didn’t see Remus waiting for him, leaning on his motorcycle. In fact, if the boy hadn’t cried his name, he would have kept running, desperate to get away from Regulus.

He stopped, crouched over, his hands on his knees, breathing hard. Remus stood in front of him and placed his own hand on his back.

“What happened, Sirius?”

Sirius, once composed, started telling him everything except his brother’s love confession to Remus and his own realization of his feelings towards the boy in front of him.

Remus listened attentively to everything he said, his face overcome with sadness and shock. When Sirius finished, Remus just wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug. Sirius held onto the man like his life depended on it. They stayed like that for minutes, people walking down the street casting scandalised looks at them.

When they pulled apart, Remus face was swollen, rests of tears illuminating his face. Sirius bit his own tears back, a knot forming in his throat.

“You care about him.” Remus stated. Sirius looked at him, puzzled. Remus was now carrying a small, knowing smile on his face. “You pretend to hate him but you don’t. You love Regulus, you care about him.”

Sirius blushed, ashamed of how easily Remus could read him. He looked back at the hospital. The glowing sun, a perfect circle in the purple and pink sky, illuminated the building. It made it look more imposing than it already was without the sunset’s effects.

“I loved him, Remus.” Sirius said at last, looking away from the setting sun. “But now I barely know him. You know him better than me.”

“Maybe.” Remus nodded. “One thing I noticed was that despite his rants against you, deep down he admired you.”

The words hurt him like a sharp knife's stab. Sirius said nothing.

“Help him, Sirius. You are the only one that can.”

* * *

 “Sirius.”

Nothing. Sirius was lying on James’ couch, absentmindedly playing with a tennis ball that he had found on his friend’s wardrobe. The bespectacled man huffed, trying to catch his attention.

He had been like that for two days now, barely talking, barely eating, barely doing anything. James would come home from work and he would find him in the same place he had left him in the morning. It was infuriating, seeing his friend like that and not knowing how to help. It never happened before, they were always for each other, they always knew how to help the other. But now, it seemed impossible. James wasn’t even sure what he had to help him with.

The night he arrived to his flat, hair stuck to his forehead due to sweat – although it had been a cold night -, he had told him everything but then proceeded to talk only when extremely necessary.

James knew there was something else that was bothering his friend but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Most of the time, Sirius would wear a blank expression, one so good that not even James could break in. There were other times, though, that James could bet his life that he had just seen his friend’s grey eyes water, although he would rapidly blink to get the tears away from his orbs.

Then, on the third night, while James was cooking Sirius’ favourite food, lentil stew, thinking it was going to make the boy finally eat, he heard it. He heard sobs coming from the living room, where he had last seen Sirius. What made the situation so unusual was that Sirius Black had never cried before. He hadn’t cried that night that he had been so beaten up, James’ parents had to take him to the hospital nor the time Regulus’ article had been published. Not even the multiple – but not so many – times he and James had fought. Never.

Now, James could hear him very clearly. He walked to the living room. There he was, his face buried on a pillow, his howls still audible. James quickly sat by his side, making his presence known by putting his hand on his back, caressing it in what he hoped was a comforting way.

He waited for him to talk, knowing he would and not wanting to make him feel pressured. After a while, he looked up, his face was tear-stained.

“I love him.” Sirius repeated what he had told James that were Regulus’ exact words. “I love Remus.”


	13. Mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments. I am so happy and glad that you enjoy the story. It's you that keep me writing it.

“What?” James asked, genuinely shocked.

Sirius was looking more like himself, the tears stains on his face no longer visible. Although, he was no less nervous. He kept walking back and forth, his hand doing a mess to his shoulder lenght hair.

“You heard me.” Sirius replied breathlessly.

“I thought this was about revenge. I asked you if you had feelings for him. You didn’t tell me!”

Sirius stared at him, a look of exasperation mixed with desperation settling on his face. James stared back, confusion written all over his face. Sirius stopped walking but stayed where he was. For a minute, James thought he was going to start crying again but then, surprisingly, he smiled.

“I didn’t know then, Prongs.”

He said his nickname in a low whisper, his voice almost despairing. James stood up and came face to face with his friend. James had the sudden need to hold Sirius and hug him, not finding the correct words to comfort him.

“How do you know now?”

Sirius shrugged and kicked the coffee table he had gifted James. While Sirius cried of pain, James couldn’t help to laugh, the smile instantly dying the moment Sirius glared at him.

“Realized it when Regulus told me he was in love with him.” Came Sirius’ reply, his tone reproachful.

“Fuck.” James simply said, the situation being overwhelming even to him.

However, James tried to see the positive side – or at least to find one. And then he remembered. He remembered the way Remus and Sirius looked at each other; only having eyes for the other even in a packed room. He remembered the few times Remus had been over his place and how both boys had found any excuse to touch each other, apparently the mere thought of their bodies not being in contact unbearable.

Those were not simple acts of physical attraction, James thought. There was something else; something like love. Sirius loved Remus, yes. He had just told his best friend. But James was now too sure that it was a mutual feeling. If it was not, Remus was a great actor.

“Tell him.” James said. “Tell Remus you love him.”

Sirius looked at him, as if wondering if James had lost his mind. He repeated his words once more, trying to sound convincing.

“I can’t tell him!” Sirius said loudly, startling his friend. “He doesn’t love me!”

“How do you know that?” James inquired, his brow furrowed. He realized he was shouting too.

Sirius looked at him, furious. James couldn’t understand the unexpected rage and why it was directed at him. The long-haired boy walked over coat rack, grabbed his black leather jacket and stormed out, the door being slammed soundly behind him.

* * *

Sirius stayed in the studio the next few days. He was still mad at James and he wouldn’t go to Grimmauld Place even if his life depended on it. He had a small fridge on the back room, where he had each meal during the day.

Marlene was not so happy, as Sirius was all day and all night inside the shop but she would still come into the building and find it in a chaotic state. She took care of it every time but not without saying very clearly everything she thought of Sirius.

Sirius couldn’t care less. He had too many things in his head to add something more. Regulus’ hospitalization, his feelings for Remus and now James, they were all messing up his head.

He had expected his best friend to understand him. Sirius was not a speaker; he didn’t enjoy talking about his feelings. It had never been a problem with James, though. The two boys had always understood the other perfectly, without the need to say anything.

But now, James had failed. Sirius had told him, a long time ago, about what his parents had said. He was not so sure he had explicitly told him that he believed their words but the thing was Sirius had been sure – until now – that James had caught on that on his own.

He knew being mad at him wasn’t fair or sensible. He could have explained it to James, maybe his friend would have said something comforting or he would have helped him to sort his feelings out. But it had been so overwhelming, to not find solace on his last source of it.

So, he did the thing he did best; he locked himself away, both literally and figuratively. He didn’t answer any calls or texts; he didn’t see anyone except Marlene, the girl from the market he went to buy food and his clients.

Remus had been sending him texts, wondering how he was, where he was and when they would see each other. Sirius, every time his phone biped, would throw the it away, seeing the name on the screen hurt too much. He also did know that this situation wasn’t fair for his lover either, as he had no idea of what was going on inside Sirius’ head.

Sirius was not going to tell Remus about his love for him. If he was going to lose the boy, he preferred to do it because he got away and not because Remus had said in front of him that he didn’t return his feelings.

* * *

**Hey. (09:13)**

**How are you? (09:19)**

**I miss you. (09:23)**

Remus stared at the screen of his phone, desperately wondering if he seemed too eager for an answer. Sirius had not replied to any of his texts for the last days. In fact, the last time they talked was when Sirius took him to his flat after going to the hospital.

Remus had insisted that he stayed, wanting to comfort him after a stressful evening. The brunette had rejected the offer, however.

The golden-haired boy couldn’t stop thinking and asking himself what Regulus could have said that had made Sirius come running from the hospital, a wild look settled on his face.

Remus sighed, sinking further into his desk chair, where he was supposedly studying about the Second World War. He couldn’t concentrate at all, his mind only thinking about Sirius and Regulus, about what happened to the younger Black brother and about his lover’s sudden distance.

The coffee on his favourite mug – one that Lily had gifted him for his 17th birthday – was already cold, imitating the weather of the Sunday morning. He grabbed the cup and went to the kitchen, carefully placing it in the sink.

Lily was nowhere to be seen and her coat, which always was hanging on the sofa, had disappeared too, indicating she had gone out. Remus uneasily stared to the front door for some minutes, finally making up his mind.

Grabbing the first piece of clothing he could find, he headed outside. The icy wind hit his face, the sun not warming him at all. Remus directed his view to his right, then to his left. After a short pause, he started walking to the nearest bus stop.

Once there, the double-decker bus was already waiting for him. He checked the name in front, not wanting to get on the wrong transport.

_Manchester Royal Infirmary._

He climbed the bus, his heart beating loudly, his mouth feeling too dry for his liking but still Remus thought he was doing the right thing. Or at least he hoped.

* * *

Sirius heard the door shutting, suggesting a new client had walked into the studio. He could also hear Marlene greeting them, her voice going ridiculously sweet. A second later, a dark man appeared at the door frame.

The first thing Sirius noticed was his size. He casted a shadow that practically filled the room. The tight black shirt he was wearing fitted him perfectly, showing off muscles that indicated the man lived more in the gym than in his home.

He was beautiful, although he was not Sirius’ usual type. Definitely not. Sirius preferred lanky men, golden-haired, curly with blue eyes, dimples on their cheeks…

Sirius shook his head, trying to clear his mind from unwanted thoughts about Remus. He smiled sympathetically at the man, who flashed his pearl-white teeth back at him.

“What can I help you with?” Sirius said, immediately shifting his voice so that it sounded professional.

“I want to get this tattoo.” The man said, showing him a printed picture of a minimalist drawing of several buildings, all linked by the same line. Sirius nodded, having seen the tattoo before.

“New York, huh?” Sirius asked conversationally, noticing the Empire State Building. He indicated the dark man to place himself on the stretcher.

“Favourite place in the world.” He replied, a wide smile on his face. _No dimples,_ Sirius noticed before reprehending himself.

“Where do you want it?”

“Hip.” The man said, rolling his shirt to indicate the exact place where he wanted the tattoo, just above his pants. Sirius hummed appreciatively. Apparently, the man noticed, according to his shameless wink.

“Take off your shirt.”

It took him thirty minutes, the drawing not being too complex. Once finished, Sirius smiled at the man and walked to his desk, placing a now empty ink pot on the bin.

“Thanks.” The man said when Sirius turned around. He had moved and was standing in front of him, too close and his shirt still gone. Sirius raised his eyebrows.

“It’s nothing.” He muttered. “Well, actually it’s £40.”

The man laughed. It was a rough sound, not soft like Remus’ laugh. His bicep muscles rippled as he grabbed his wallet from his back pocket. Sirius licked his parched lips at the sight.

The man handed him the money, their fingers blatantly brushing. They stared at each other for a few seconds that seemed years and then they were kissing. The kiss was rough, it was hard. Their teeth collided, their tongues fought over control in a sloppy way.

The kiss was nothing like Remus’ kisses. Even when they were crazy with need and pleasure, they were tender and deep. _Remus!_ Sirius frantically thought and pushed the other man away.

“Sorry… I can’t.” he said, feeling dirty.

“It’s ok.” He replied, already putting his shirt back.

Once the man was gone, Sirius collapsed into his chair, hiding his face in his hands. He thought desperately about what he had just done. Remus and Sirius never agreed upon being exclusive – they were not even a couple, just two boys messing around – but it still felt awful.

He kicked his desk, not giving a damn that everything had fallen to the floor.

* * *

Remus knew the exact moment he saw Walburga and Orion Black walking out Regulus’ room that he should have thought better about coming to the hospital. He had thought it was a good idea at first, wanting to know how the boy was after the assault. Now, though, that he was hiding behind a pillar so that the two adults didn’t see him, he wished he was safely at home, surrounded by his books.

Remus checked whether they were finally gone and then made his way to the room. He knocked on the door, a faint voice that unquestionably belonged to Regulus told him to come in and then he did.

Regulus was reading a book, half sitting. When he saw Remus, he unwittingly dropped the book to his lap, his mouth gaping open. Remus offered him a small smile, which was not returned.

He was looking better than what Sirius had told him he looked during the first day. He was wearing a white t-shirt with no blood stains. He noticed the word carved into his skin, which was not as red as he was told.

“Hey.” Remus said, not stepping closer.

“Hey.” Regulus answered, uncertain.

“I wanted to see how you were doing.”

Regulus stared at him in silence, a look of wonder on his face. Remus shifted on the place, suddenly too aware that it was the first time he was seeing his former lover since their break up.

“How did you know I was here?”

“Hm…” Remus panicked. He couldn’t tell Regulus the truth; it would be obvious that he was with his brother the moment the hospital had called him. He made up a lie, hoping the other boy would believe it. “James told me.”

“James?” Regulus inquired, raising both eyebrows in surprise. “My brother’s friend?”

Remus nodded, not trusting his voice to say anything convincing. Regulus asked nothing and they just stayed silent for a while.

“Well, I’m ok now.” Regulus said minutes later. “Doctor says tomorrow I’ll be discharged.”

“That’s… good.”

Regulus cocked his head and looked at him, reminding him of a cat. _Sirius,_ Remus’ mind inevitably compared the two siblings, _always reminds me of a dog with his tongue always outside his mouth when he’s distracted or the way he sleeps or his laugh that sounds like a bark…_

Remus shook his head, coming back to reality. Regulus was still staring at him, scrunching up his eyes.

“Nice jacket.” The black-haired stated. “Not really your style.”

Remus looked down and cursed internally, realizing he was wearing Sirius’ grey leather jacket, which he had forgotten in his flat. Remus wished Regulus didn’t know his brother owned that exact jacket.

“You shouldn’t have come, Remus.” The boy interrupted his thoughts. “I was awful to you.”

Remus shuddered, memories of their last time together returning to his head. “I know.” He bawled. “I still needed to know you were ok.”

“I am.”

Once more, complete silence surrounded the room, surrounded them. Remus turned to leave. His hand was already on the door handle when he heard the whispered words.

“I love you, Remus.”


	14. Scar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's the opposite of writer's block? Double chapter today, I'm surprised!  
> Also, the story doesn't have many chapters left, maybe two or three more.  
> Enjoy!

Sirius walked down the narrow, moonlit lane. He could hear the rumble of traffic and a dog not so far away barking like crazy. He sped up, wanting to get over with what he needed to do. As long as he walked, the streets became gloomier. Then, appearing out of nowhere was Grimmauld Place, the place where all his nightmares that had prevented him of having a proper sleep for years took place.

The air of the house felt as cold as ever when Sirius entered. It was apparently empty, not that the place he was made to call home ever held any sense of life. He walked to his room, climbing the stairs rapidly. Once there, he grabbed some clothes, as he had ran out of them in the shop. _I should really get a flat,_ Sirius thought while placing the clothes inside his backpack.

He changed from what he was wearing, too. He discarded his white t-shirt and put on a black one with the logo of Queen printed on it. He found his favourite pair of jeans and put them on, the cool breeze that inhabited the house numbing his legs where the trouser was ripped.

He was placing the backpack on his shoulder when he heard it, a loud and raspy breathing behind his door. He opened it and came face to face with Kreacher, his abnormally long nose almost poking Sirius’ chest.

Behind the short man stood two much taller and imposing figures; Walburga and Orion. They were looking at him for what seemed to be the first time in years; his parents always trying to avoid crossing paths with their older son. Disgust and hatred was written all over their faces. Sirius was too sure his was the same.

“What are you doing here?”

It was his mother who spoke. Out of the two, she was the one that had hurt him the most, his father always acting like her minion. She was who had hit him for the first time; a hot summer night after an event they had went to, where James and Sirius had pulled a prank that had everyone soaking wet. He had been seven years old when his mother slapped his face with a force Sirius never could have imagined Walburga – a thin and delicate woman – possessed. Orion had been the one who had the idea of publishing the article defaming his son but it was his mother who had suggested that Regulus should write it, knowing it was the most painful thing for Sirius to bear. It was her who had made him believe he was not worth anyone’s love, his father nodding behind her, occasionally saying something that indicated he agreed with his wife.

It was his mother who haunted him in his nightmares. She was the reason he woke up during countless nights, sweat-soaked. She was everything Sirius hated.

“I live here.” He replied, avoiding looking at her. Instead, he placed his eyes on Kreacher, who shrunk further into the floor at the loathing glare he received.

“When…” his father talked this time, his voice quivering a little. Sirius snorted. _Minion._ “…were you going to tell us about your brother being in the hospital?”

Sirius finally looked up, locking eyes with his father. They were so similar yet so different; the same shade of grey but where Sirius’ was warmth and kindness, Orion’s were coldness and disdain. He tried to remember if those eyes had ever seen him with love on them, as a father was supposed to look at his son. He could not.

“Why would I tell you anything?”

His mother screamed. Sirius flinched at the sound. A few minutes ago, she had been composed like they have failed to teach Sirius. Now, though, she was livid; her face was a dark shade of red, she was breathing really fast through her nostrils, her fists kept opening and closing at her sides. Sirius well remembered that look; it was the one she used to get when she was seconds away from hitting him.

“IT IS YOUR FAULT THIS HAPPENED TO HIM!” Her mother screamed. Sirius mouth fell open, not believing his ears. He knew his parents hated him and they tended to blame him for things he was innocent of. But this was too much. There was no way they could have found some excuse to incriminate him, he had done nothing that could have caused his brother’s near death experience.

“MY FAULT? THIS IS YOUR FAULT.” Sirius shouted back, his eyes burning with tears. “YOU WITH YOUR PURE BLOOD SHIT. YOU WITH YOUR RACISM AND HOMOPHOBIA! IT’S ALWAYS YOU!”

He saw it coming but Sirius was quicker. He stopped his mother from hitting him, grabbing her by the wrist with a strength he had never used before. Her pulse throbbed fast under his large hand. Sirius saw a gap between his mother and father, an opportunity to escape.

“NO! YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO TOUCH ME AGAIN!” he set his mother’s hand free and moved swiftly, leaving the room in a quick move. “YOU WON’T HURT ME ANYMORE.” He screamed from the top of the stairs, although his parents didn’t even try to follow him.

* * *

“Sirius.” Remus sighed.

The man jumped from where he was sitting at hearing his name. Finally seeing him, Remus realized just how much he had missed him. His heart started beating almost loudly, when for the past days he seemed not to feel it.

Sirius was not looking good. He was paler than usual; the eyes he came to love so much were carrying black bags under them. He wondered if this was all about Regulus or whether something else was happening to him.

He asked himself if it would be sensible to question him about his sudden and harmful distance. The words died away on his lips, though. He could not bring himself to do anything more than look at him. He had really missed the boy.

“Remus?” Sirius quavered, he made to come closer to Remus but then stopped.

Remus did step closer. Closer until he could wrap his arms around Sirius’ waist and breathe in his addictive bittersweet smell. The scent of cigarettes predominated over every other, indicating Remus that Sirius had been smoking more than usual.

“I’ve missed you.” Remus blurted, adoration decorating his voice.

Sirius’ body tensed. Remus looked up, inquiringly. There was an odd beam in his eyes, one that had never looked back at Remus before. Remus, who almost never failed to read Sirius like an open book, supposed it was guilt.

“What is it?” he inquired, the former adoration on his voice being replaced by worry.

“I… I am so sorry, Remus. I don’t know what happened to me.”

“What?”

Sirius sighed and started fidgeting with his hands, pacing back and forth in the not so big room where he had tattooed so many people. _Oh,_ Remus thought, _this must be really bad._

“I k-kissed another man the other day.”

“Oh.” Remus whimpered.

“I pulled away immediately, I swear!” Sirius cried out. “These last days have been a living hell. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

“Oh.” Remus repeated, not able to say anything else. Everything hurt. Breathing was too hard.

Remus closed his eyes for long seconds and then opened them again, sighing. He broke into a small, anguished smile.

“I came here to tell you that yesterday I went to the hospital to see Regulus but I was afraid you would be angry.” Remus laughed but the sound that came out his mouth was more like a sob. “This beats it, though.”

Sirius looked at him; his eyes had gone wild with desperation. Remus stepped back, unwrapping his arms from around his waist.

“Remus…”

“What the fuck happened to you?” Remus growled. “You became distant all of the sudden and then you go and kiss someone else?”

“We never agreed that we were official…” Sirius cautioned.

Remus screamed angrily, the sound making Sirius’ hair stand on end. The blue-eyed threw his arms into the air in rendition.

“Remus, please.” Sirius said, defeated. “I… I love you. And I was overwhelmed by my feelings. That’s why I became distant. The kiss was an accident. Please believe me.”

“No!” Remus replied with a maniac laugh. “You are just like your brother.” Sirius gasped, the words appeared to have physically hurt him.

“Remus…”

“You know what he told me before I left the hospital room?” Remus questioned, not pausing for an answer. “That he loved me. And I left without saying anything because of you.” Remus sighed. “The thing with the Black brothers is that you don’t know how to love. You both wouldn't recognize love even if it was in front of you.”

“Stop!” Sirius pleaded, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Remus, not able to hear to Sirius’ voice anymore, left the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

_2 months later._

If anyone, two months earlier, told Remus his life would have turned this way, he would have thought they were crazy. Now, though, as he stretched his limbs after a full afternoon of rehearsing, he just believed that sometimes cursed people like him could be a bit lucky.

It was all thanks to Lily. She had been fed up of his moping and dragged him to a dance club – purposely not Moony. There, he had lost himself dancing as he always did when he went to those places. Someone had been enjoying of his spectacle and someone was a dance show’s director who was looking for an amateur and passionate dancer. Apparently, Remus matched the description. She had given him her number and had allowed him to think about it.

At first, he had thought to say no, not thinking he was talented enough. After a while – and after Lily’s insistence – he had called the woman to tell her that he accepted the role.

Life had been better since then. Dancing helped him to forget about Sirius, who still hurt too much to even think about. He also met awesome people. Alice Prewitt, a handsome woman with shining black hair, was his dancing partner and she was close to become a new friend of Remus. She was nice and fun to be around, helping Remus with his heartache.

The show was going to be launched in one week, which meant that rehearsals lately had become more exigent and exhausting. Today, for example, their coach had made them do the whole show three times. Remus’ legs felt like jelly and he was not sure he would be able to dance anymore.

He arrived to his flat late at night. He dropped the keys on the small table where they kept the bills. Walking into the kitchen, he grabbed a beer from the fridge and swallowed a big gulp.

Once he finished the bottle, he went to his room. Not caring about taking his clothes, he jumped into the bed and almost immediately fell asleep, thinking that maybe things could get better with time.

* * *

Sirius was on the reception room the moment he arrived. When Regulus entered the studio, he did it awkwardly, like he didn’t exactly know where he was. Sirius almost dropped the papers in his hands to the floor but quickly recomposed.

It was the first time he saw his brother since the hospital. He was looking much better now; the only sign of the assault was the now white carved word on his right arm.

“Regulus?” Sirius asked.

“Hello.” His brother greeted him formally. Sirius rolled his eyes, hating when he used that tone with him. “I want to get use of your service.”

Sirius laughed and then raised his eyebrows. If Sirius had understood his brother – and he was certain he had – Regulus Black, of all people, wanted to get a tattoo. The _oh so formal Regulus Black_ , who many times had told him how stupid and unprofessional his job was.

“You want to get a tattoo?” Sirius asked just in case. Regulus nodded, his eyes darkening. “Ok, walk with me.” He told his younger brother, directing him to his room.

He passed the tall mirror he had gotten last week. Sirius had never looked worse. Ever since his final fight with Remus, he barely ate, slept or cared about his appearance at all. The black bags under his eyes were permanently staying there and all his clothes were now a bit too big on him.

“What do you want to get tattooed?” Sirius questioned, genuinely intrigued.

Regulus stretched his right arm out, where he could see the scar that read **TRAITOR.** Sirius locked eyes with his brother and saw a gleam that reminded Sirius of his own pain.

“My scar.”

Sirius nodded, dumbfounded enough that he didn’t find the right words to say. He grabbed everything he needed and began working.

Sirius knew, the moment he finished and that the word stared darkly at him from his brother’s arm, that this was a before and after for their relationship.


	15. Break free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so bad. I am so sorry.

Lily was woken up by the smell of pancakes being made. She hummed contently and sprawled on the now so familiar bed, the sweet scent of her lover reaching her nostrils.

She reluctantly got up and grabbed James’ shirt from the floor, putting it on while she made her way to the kitchen. Already at the door, she also sensed the smell of coffee, which made her emit a low moan as her stomach growled.

She opened the door, expecting to see the man she spent the night with. Instead, her eyes were met with long, shiny black locks that lay elegantly on the person’s shoulders.

“Morning.” She said apprehensively, not knowing what answer to expect from the man that was her best friend’s former lover.

She had seen him a few times, as he practically lived there, but Sirius, seeing her, had excused himself and retreated to James’ guest room, which was as good as his.

Remus wasn’t doing better. The rehearsals for the show that seemed to have fallen from the sky helped him a little. But Lily knew he was a mess. He would not study as much as he used to, he would spend all of his free time in his room, not interacting with her. Lily missed her best friend, missed just being around him, his presence soothing her.

“Morning.” He said in a barely audible whisper. “I made coffee and pancakes.” He spoke up, placing a mug in front of her.

He was no longer the Sirius Black she knew. Although still handsome, his face was carrying black bags under his eyes, which contrasted with his extremely pale skin.

“How is he?” Sirius wondered, breaking the awkward silence.

Of all things she could have expected the man to say, this was totally not one of them. She actually thought Remus was not going to be mentioned, that the grey-eyed boy would not want to remember, Lily being enough reminder of his loss.

His expression screamed pain. Lily empathised. She hadn’t told Remus but she didn’t agree with him. Sirius and Remus had never talked about exclusivity and if the other wanted to be with someone else, she thought they had every right to do it.

“He’s not good... but he is doing better.” She said. Her announcement didn’t seem to ease his pain. “He is going to be in a show. Dancing. He loves dancing, did you know?”

Something flickered in those grey eyes. Something that, if Lily had to put a name on it, was pride. She also noticed love; a love so pure that seemed almost untouched by the two months that had passed. Lily was sure that if she asked, Sirius would probably tell her that he loved Remus more than ever, more than when they were happily together.

Remus had told her that he didn’t believe Sirius’ words. He didn’t believe that Sirius loved him. However, anyone who looked at his glistening eyes would believe it. Lily believed it.

“Yes. I knew.” He breathed. Lily heard the unsaid words on that simple sentence.

* * *

 _It's a new dawn_  
_It's a new day_  
_It's a new life_  
_For me_  
_And I'm feeling good_

Remus mentally snorted, not believing that the song chosen for the main act could be more ironic for Remus’ life. He wished he could say the same.

Hearing but not listening to Frank's, their coach, screams of fury and tiredness, Remus repeated his move. He knew he was doing horribly and everybody noticed too. Remus had been distracted today due to a dream that involved a dark-haired boy kissing him and saying how much he loved him and then kissing someone else…

Remus shook his head. He pictured Sirius' face when he had told him he loved him, he pictured the sadness. It acted as a boost to his confidence, knowing that if there was something that could help him forget the man, it was dancing. He threw his arms to the air with such elegance that Frank’s screams subdued. Remus breathed hard and spun, his left foot leaving the ground. He rotated on the spot for what seemed hours, every spin giving him more of that amazing feeling that made him feel free.

Once finished, his foot fell to the floor gracefully. He opened his eyes, just noticing that he had closed them. Everyone was staring at him, dumbstruck. Frank’s hand was placed over where his heart, a big smile on his face. It was the first time that Remus had managed to do it perfectly.

“Awesome!” his coach shouted with joy.

His colleagues started clapping and suddenly the only thing that could be heard were the applauses directed to Remus, the sound of it swallowing the music.

Remus locked eyes with Alice, who was already staring at him. She nodded her head, which said everything without her actually speaking. _You can do it._

 _Yes,_ Remus thought, overflowing happiness filling him, _I can do it._

* * *

The woman was beautiful, Sirius was not blind to not realize. Her long, golden  hair brushed his arm as she moved to lie on the stretcher. Sirius had been with some women, mostly when he was young and uncomfortable with his sexuality. But seeing her rather curly mane, her blue eyes and soft features, it was like someone had sent her just to make fun of him. It was like someone was having a good time seeing him suffer as he was reminded of someone else with similar characteristics. Someone he longed to touch, to see.

She extended her pale arm, indicating Sirius where she wanted her tattoo. She had showed him a sketch of it; it consisted of two words in such a simple calligraphy that Sirius knew he was going to be finished in a few minutes.

Indeed, four minutes after, the words ‘feeling good’ were settled on the reddened skin. Sirius noticed with a grimace that the second ‘e’ was a bit smaller than the other but tried to ignore it. He was sure the girl wouldn’t realize.

“It’s £30.” He informed the girl, who was currently rummaging through her red bag. She handed him the money, along with what looked like a leaflet.

“Sorry. I am trying to publicize this dance show I am part of, so if you are interested…”

 _What are the odds_ , Sirius thought. There were not many shows in that part of Manchester, which made Sirius to hopefully believe that it was the same one Lily had talked about. He nodded, distracted. Only when the girl left the room, Sirius sat down and grabbed the brochure with slightly trembling hands. Big letters, with the same calligraphy Sirius had just used to tattoo his last client, spelled Feeling Good. Sirius ignored anything else it said, desperately looking for a familiar name.

He turned the pamphlet, sighing with relief when he read the headline there. **CAST** , it read. And there, the first name was the one he was looking for. The words Remus Lupin almost jumped off the paper. Sirius touched the letters, one by one. He wondered, imagined, how the boy moved on the stage. He asked himself if how he moved when he made love to Sirius was something to go by. If so, Remus was an excellent dancer.

Sirius grabbed his jacket and exited the studio, not even caring to explain to Marlene why he was going out. He walked to his bike and started the engine. Sirius zoomed away, making a decision he knew he would later regret.

* * *

“Pettigrew.”

Peter recoiled, the deep, cold voice startling him even when he had been expecting the man to appear in the dark and narrow alley.

“Sir, it’s a p-pleasure.”

“Save it, Pettigrew.” The icy voice replied with disdain. Peter could only manage to see his eyes, which was the part of the man’s body that scared him the tmost. “Have you done it?”

“Not yet, sir.” He answered, closing his fists by his sides with fear. “They broke up, it’s impossible s-sir...”

“I know from a good source” the man interrupted him, as if the chubby boy had never spoken at all. “that you are going to be able to complete your task this Saturday.”

The man handed him a piece of paper, which, as Peter saw, was a ticket for a dancing spectacle. Peter didn't ask anything, knowing he would later receive instructions.

“It will be a pleasure, s-sir.”

“Stop.” The man whispered but it was as good as if he had shouted. “I am not ‘sir’. I am your Lord. I am Lord Voldemort.”

* * *

_Saturday._

Remus screamed internally as Frank did the same thing but making sure everyone could hear him. He was saying the last words before the cast of ‘Feeling Good’ went on stage. His words didn’t reach Remus’ ears. They were, instead, buzzing. Remus couldn’t remember a time he had been this nervous.

Every person he cared about was going to be there; Lily, who took advantage of any opportunity she had to tell him how proud she was and how happy it made her that Remus was finally living his dream. His parents were going to be there, too. A month ago, he had gone to Cotswolds and explained everything to them.

At first, they had been reluctant to accept their son wanted to pursue a career in dancing but they had eventually understood that it was what really made him happy. After Remus assured them that he was going to keep studying Law, they had agreed on going to see him.

Only one person was missing. Someone who had always showed interest in Remus' dreams. And today that he was going to accomplish them, that person wasn’t there. Sirius was not there to see him dance, to see him doing something he loved, to see him break free.

Remus sighed and with Frank’s indication, went on the stage. As the deep red curtains rose, Remus’ heart accelerated and the buzzing in his ears incremented.

A bright spotlight was pointing at him. Remus closed his eyes. He could almost hear the public’s silent expectation. Arching his back, placing his arms by his sides the way he had now done so many times after so many rehearsals, Remus started moving, the music accompanying him.


	16. Feeling good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last one so enjoy!

Remus turned fluidly, his body in tune with the beat of the music. The overwhelming feeling of glee could not be ignored anymore by him. He allowed his joy to be seen through his small smile. He barely saw Alice coming graciously to him. He lifted her and then spun, the woman feeling weightless.

They both elegantly landed to the floor at the same time the music died. Soon, everyone started clapping and cheering. Remus tried to find familiar faces but there were so many…

Grabbing hands, Alice and Remus got off the stage. A group of ten women replaced them. A tall, dark woman came rushing to him, dressing him up for the next and final act. The act in which Remus was alone on the stage.

“Ok, Remus. You can do it because if you don’t, I’ll kill you.” Frank said trying to laugh but the sound that came out his mouth was something Remus could not name.

Remus dedicated him a small smile, distractedly. He tried to remember the choreography he was about to perform in just a few minutes, but nothing came to his mind. He knew he should have felt nervous but, somehow, Remus knew that once he was there, in front of all the people, the moves would just come to him naturally.

The moment came before Remus was ready. He glanced back at Alice but she was nowhere to be found. His stomach was knotted up, his face flaming red. He went on the stage. It felt like he was walking on a rope and the floor underneath him was hot, burning lava.

Centre-staged, Remus rolled up. His skin startled tingling, his ears ready for the beginning of the song. He couldn’t see the crowd due to his position but he could _feel them._ He knew they were there, expecting him to do something, to amaze them.

Then he heard it. The music began and Remus started to move along with it. Every move allowed adrenaline to rush into him. He was suddenly not aware of what he was doing but _feeling it_. He felt everything; how his heart accelerated when he spun, how his hand tingled when he threw his arms to the air, how his eyes beamed when he looked at the crowd.

He shut his eyelids. Bringing his left foot up, he started spinning. It was as if he had suddenly abandoned the solid floor. It was as if he was flying, the clouds moving aside only for him to come through. He lost count of how many times he spun, he just did it.

 _It's a new dawn_  
_It's_ _a_ _new_ _day_  
_It's_ _a_ _new_ _life_  
_For_ _me_  
_And_ _I'm_ _feeling_ _good_

He was free.

* * *

If someone asked what the most beautiful thing Sirius ever saw was, he would describe this moment. Remus’ movements, his closed eyes, and the passion his whole body emitted. Everything about what Sirius was seeing was extremely beautiful.

When the music finished and, therefore, Remus stopped moving, everyone in the huge room erupted in cheers, getting up from their seats. He did the same but didn’t clap. He just stared at him. Even from the fourth row, Sirius noticed that Remus was crying. He felt his own grey eyes water too; the pride he currently felt was overwhelming.

By his side, James and Lily were screaming words of support. Lily was also crying. Sirius locked eyes with her. She nodded her head and mouthed a silent ‘thank you.’

Sirius didn’t know what she exactly meant. Was she thanking him because he had come? Because of his reaction? Sirius couldn’t have missed this and he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to feel any other way.

Remus was not talented; he was gifted. He was a natural; he danced with passion and love, not from technique. When he danced, Remus was a god and Sirius was his most loyal and adoring worshipper.

* * *

Remus disentangled his arms from Lily, who was hugging him for the third time. They were in the huge backstage hall, where a small party was going on. Lyall and Hope Lupin proceeded to hug him, a bit too tight, while they congratulated him, both teary eyed.

“Congratulations, man.” James said, awkwardly. Remus shook his hand gleefully; the tingling sensation remained on him.

“Thanks, James. Excuse me; I really need to get something to drink.”

He walked to the bar, which was being run by the chubby boy that worked at Prongs. He asked him for a beer. The boy stared at him with nervous eyes. In response, Remus arched an eyebrow. He was distracted, though, by a familiar red mane, whose owner was waiting beside him to ask for a drink himself.

“Gideon!” he exclaimed, smiling. “You made it.”

The redhead slowly smiled. Remus did the same, quickly embracing the boy, who held longer than appropriate.

“You were amazing! All the chaps from the uni think the same.”

“Thanks, Gid. I am really glad you enjoyed it.”

Gideon answered but whatever he was saying, Remus didn’t know. Suddenly he couldn’t hear nor see nor breathe. Actually, the only person his eyes registered was his long-haired, grey-eyed former lover, who was moving towards him in what seemed to be slow-motion.

Gideon called for him several times, until he gave up and walked back to where his brother was. Remus was still looking at the approaching man, his eyes wide and his heart beating rather fast.

Remus thought about running in the opposite direction. He needed to distance himself from the man that had hurt him so deeply. However, before he could do anything, Sirius was already in front of him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Remus blurted out, because it seemed to be the only thing he could think of.

Sirius’ eyes hardened. Remus looked away, unable to hold the look. For a moment, Remus thought that Sirius was going to grab his arm but he ended up grabbing a can of beer from the bar, brushing his arm. Remus shivered.

“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Sirius answered, ignoring his question. Remus closed his eyes, the voice of the man he adored burning a hole inside him.

“Sirius…” he cautiously said. Sirius sighed.

“I really needed to see you… I…”

“We broke up Sirius, you…”

“I miss you.”

Remus’ eyes involuntarily closed again, feeling his heart ache. He knew he should stay mad at the man, he knew he should turn his back to him but something kept him stuck to the floor; something like the need to touch him, to hold him, to just be close to him.

Remus missed him too. He didn’t think he had missed someone this much ever before. Not his parents when he moved to Manchester, not Lily during those times they were not together. No one. No one came close to how much he had missed Sirius. But no one either came close to how much Sirius had hurt him.

Although Lily thought he didn’t, Remus knew that her opinion was that Sirius had done nothing bad. Remus had thought about it, if he was being honest, every day. And he knew that Lily had a point, he knew that they hadn’t been exclusive and that it was a toxic reaction. But it still hurt; thinking about Sirius kissing someone else, it hurt.

It hurt because he had realized that he wanted a relationship with Sirius. He wanted a relationship with Sirius like the one he had had with Regulus, but better. Without the toxicity, the aggressiveness and the hiding. And he knew that Sirius could give him that, that’s why it hurt so much. They could have had an amazing relationship but then everything had been ruined.

“Seeing you up there, dancing. It was awesome, Remus. I truly have never seen so much talent in only one person.” Sirius came closer and Remus, surprisingly, didn’t move. “I just wanted to see you doing what you loved once, even if you now tell me to leave. Tell me and I’ll do it. I swear.”

Remus bore his eyes into Sirius. There was no sign that he was mocking him. He was being honest; his grey orbs told him that. The golden-haired boy sighed and let his hand grab Sirius’.

“Don’t.”

He didn’t know what made him say it. Maybe it was the fact that he spent two months without the man that he had come to love so much or maybe it was the fact that he was there, he was real, he was tangible and not just a product of his dreams. Maybe it was the fact that Remus didn’t want Sirius to leave again. He wanted to be with him. Forever.

Realization hitting him like a bullet, Remus grabbed Sirius by the neck and crashed their mouths together. And then, they were kissing. Sirius held him by the waist, opening his mouth. Remus’ kiss screamed rendition, while Sirius’ was all about desperation, about being afraid that it was going to be over sometime and that Remus would be gone again.

It was a clumsy kiss. There was too much tongue, their teeth collided several times and their hands were suddenly everywhere. If someone saw them, they probably thought that it was the first time they kissed. And in some way, it was. Remus felt that it was a new beginning.

Remus didn’t know where he was anymore. It didn’t matter if he was still in a room full of people – including his parents – or if he was in a deserted alleyway. It didn’t matter because the only thing that mattered was the person with him. Only Sirius mattered.

Overcome with the sensations of the kiss they had longed too long, they didn’t notice the chubby boy from the bar with a phone in his hand nor the clicking of the camera.

* * *

“Bellatrix,” the cold voice of her Lord said through the phone. “Pettigrew just told me they are heading out.”

The dark-haired woman maliciously smirked and dropped her phone to the floor. She got off the car, placing her lengthy, sharp silver blade inside her sock. She let her long, black dress fall, which billowed with every step she took.

Behind her, Snape followed her close. They stopped by the stairs of the huge building. With a grimace, Bellatrix stared at the marquee. The name of their next victim labelled him as the main star of the spectacle.

Snape hissed. Bellatrix looked up and her smirk became wider. There, his loathed cousin was coming down the stairs, hand-locked with Remus Lupin. They went the opposite way Snape and Bellatrix stood. The woman nodded at her companion and they followed them, careful to not be seen.

The couple disappeared into a empty alley. Bellatrix waited a few moments and then kept following them. Black and Lupin were oblivious of the two people stalking them, too deep in their own world.

* * *

“I love you.” Sirius said, filling Remus’ face with small kisses. Remus laughed, pulling the other man away.

“Wait, Sirius. We can’t do it here.”

Sirius pouted, which made Remus smile hugely. Sirius calmed down, though.

“What? Can’t I kiss my boyfriend now?”

Remus raised his eyebrows, his smile subduing a little.

“Boyfriends?”

“If you want us to be.” Sirius answered with a little shrug but Remus could hear the anxiety on his voice.

“Of course I want!” Remus replied, maybe a bit too happily. He didn’t care. Sirius had just asked him to be in a relationship. He had danced in a theatre full of people. He had done it magnificently. Everything was great.

Remus was feeling good.

And then everything turned black.


	17. Riddle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, change of plans: this is not the final chapter. Maybe next one is or maybe there are two more to go. I've not decided yet. Enjoy!

Everything was dark. A distant noise could be heard, although it was the only thing any of Remus’ five senses were able to perceive. He tried to move but found it impossible. He tried to scream but his dry throat wouldn’t let him. In the end, Remus tried to remember. He had been with Sirius, that was the only thing on his head and then…

Then everything went black. He tried to find some explanation but nothing came. The noise he had first heard became louder. They were steps, Remus’ fuzzy brain recognised. They stopped at the same time that his heart accelerated.

“Look who woke up.” A rather familiar, female voice said. The cold tone sent shivers down his spine.

He felt someone moving by his side and then a sudden, blinding light obscured his vision. Remus blinked several times. When he finally could see, he was met by a large, dark warehouse. It was empty, only a remote glow was visible.

Someone stood in front of him, blocking any other view from him. He looked up and gasped. The beautiful, tall woman Remus had seen during the fateful day in which he had been assaulted by Greyback and Snape was smirking at him. Her figure was imposing; her left hand was holding a silver blade while her right was now in possession of the blindfold that had been on Remus’ eyes mere moments ago.

Bellatrix, Remus reminded himself, looked at his side. Remus followed her sight and sobbed when his eyes met an unconscious Sirius with blood on his cheek.

“What do you want from us?” he gasped out, his voice coming out in a barely audible whisper of terror.

Bellatrix laughed out loud, her thick, shining hair becoming wild when she threw her head back in a mocking manner. Another figure appeared and, horrified, Remus realized that Severus Snape was also standing in front of him.

He had a scowl settled on his face, his greasy, black hair contrasting horribly with his extremely pale skin. Remus’ heart pounded fast against his chest. He could not understand what he was doing there and, most importantly, how they ended up there.

Sirius, at his side, began moving. Soon, his blindfold was also removed. When his boyfriend realized what was going on, he started screaming insults at the two figures in front of the kidnapped, vulnerable boys.

“Remus, did they do anything to you?” Sirius asked, despair overflowing his voice.

“Oh, so sweet.” Bellatrix mocked. Sirius hatefully glared at her. “My faggot cousin is worried about him.”

“What the fuck do you want?” Sirius almost shouted. His voice was already becoming weaker.

With a quick movement, Bellatrix moved in front of Sirius. She crouched down so that both cousins were at the same level. Her left hand was raised and before Remus could react, she was plunging the blade deep into his skin, making another bloody scar appear on the other side of his face.

Sirius didn’t flinch nor scream; he just stared at the distant and dark end of the warehouse. Remus thought that it would have been less terrifying and heart-breaking to see him, to hear him reacting to the torture he was being a victim of.

“Now, we are family. You shouldn’t talk like that to me.” Bellatrix hissed, her evil grin never leaving her face. It made her lose all signs of beauty. She, instead, looked maniac.

Snape, who had left the room, completely ignored, walked back to them. Bellatrix smile faded when he cleared his throat, instead grimacing at the man.

“He is here.” The man said with a deep, unsettling voice.

Remus desperately wanted to ask them who was there and what they were going to do to them. He knew, though, that it was useless. Remus wondered how much time alive they had left…

Bellatrix proceeded to untie him, setting him completely free. Remus blinked in confusion when Snape did the same to Sirius. The later tried to attack the greasy man but stopped when he drew a gun from inside his robes.

“Now, Black. I would be really glad to kill you. I have wanted to for a long time now.”

“You are so sad.” Sirius spat. “You are doing this just because we were better than you in school. Better students, more popular, James ended up with the woman you are obsessed with.”

Remus cried out a scream of fear when he heard Snape removing the safety from the firearm, steadily pointing it at Sirius.

“Do not talk about Lily!”

Remus flinched at the name of his best friend. There was a crazy gleam on Snape’s black eyes. Remus’ head began spinning, the information overwhelming him.

“We need to leave, Severus.” The woman stated. “Do not even try to escape. You will only get yourself killed.” She informed them with that evil smirk of her.

Once they left, Remus ran to Sirius, who enveloped him in a tight hug. Remus felt his heart slowing down, the feeling of Sirius’ body against his calming him.

“Sirius… what is going to happen to us?”

Sirius held his face between both his hands and crushed their mouths together. It didn’t feel good.

Their mouths moved as if they were saying goodbye.

Remus heard steps and pulled off from the boy. He looked up and there, in full form, Regulus Black stood, staring at them. His face was angrily flushed, his jaw clenched.

 _It’s a trap,_ Remus thought. He wondered why Death Eaters would be interested in Regulus finding out about Remus’ relationship with his brother. Then, it dawned on him. This was about revenge, they wanted to ruin Regulus’, a former Death Eater and current traitor, life. They were using them.

Almost killing him, apparently, had not been enough. Remus remembered their conversation at the hospital. The boy had told him that he didn’t know if Riddle wanted to finish him or if he was over with him. The answer seemed so obvious now, it had never been over.

Tom Riddle wanted to end what he started.

Tom Riddle wanted to kill Regulus.

* * *

Regulus was staring at them, his hard gaze almost boring a hole into the two boys. Remus knew, and he was sure that Sirius knew too, that there was no way to deny anything. Remus was ready to confess everything; their first kiss, their secret fling afterwards, their current relationship. He just wished that Regulus listened to them and then helped them to find a way out of their prison.

“Regulus…”

It was Sirius who talked. Remus noticed, amazed, that the usual disgust was not present this time in his voice. Instead, Sirius sounded wary but also empathic.

“I cannot believe you, Sirius.” Regulus said. Remus’ heart broke when he heard how damaged he was. “I always knew you hated me but this…”

Regulus sighed, dropping his eyes to the floor. He looked so tired, so fragile. Remus felt the urge to embrace the boy. That was the thing with Remus. He couldn’t stand seeing people in pain, not when he knew they didn’t deserve such suffering. Regulus, he had learnt, was not a bad person. He was just confused, too pressured. Everyone expected something from him.

His parents expected him to live up for the image of their family, to be the perfect son their first born never was. Sirius expected him to get away from his family, to be a rebel just like him. Remus expected him to be free, to be self-sufficient. Tom Riddle and his Death Eaters expected him to be loyal, to not realize how wrong what they were doing was.

Everyone expected something from him but nobody, ever, cared about Regulus. And Remus could see how that had broken the boy. Remus also knew that he had let him down; Regulus had expected Remus to be the different one, the one that cared about him, that loved him.

But, as James had told Remus once, Sirius was the only one who could help Regulus. Sirius, however, had failed him.

Remus realized how broken Regulus was when his fist connected with his brother’s face.

* * *

There was a lot of screaming, too much when there were only three people. Remus couldn’t recognise his own voice, which seemed nothing but a soft whisper compared to the angry, loud shrieks of the two brothers.

Sirius’ scars had opened again when Regulus had punched him, making him bleed furiously. It was not a great view; Sirius’ face was almost fully covered with the red gore, which made him look like he had come out of a horror movie.

Regulus was carrying a split lip and a red bruise beside his left eye that would probably turn an angry purple tomorrow. He was straddling Sirius to the floor, his fist about to reconnect with his brother’s face when Remus grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“Can we please act like adults for once, please?” Remus pleaded, although his expression was hard, not open to discussion.

Regulus, apparently, didn’t catch on that.

“You say that now, Remus, but what about when you went behind my back and fucked my own brother?”

He heard Sirius curse. Remus tried to not be affected by the words. He knew Regulus was just being mean because they had hurt him. Sirius and Remus, the only two people Regulus probably ever truly cared about, were the responsible of his hurting.

“Please, Regulus.” Remus said, stretching his hand. “Please, let’s talk.”

Regulus looked at his outstretched hand and then at his face. After half a minute of the same motion, Regulus held his hand and stood up, freeing Sirius.

Remus had expected to feel something when his skin first touched Regulus’ but he found out that it was as if he were holding Lily’s hand. Any passion his relationship with Regulus ever had, was now completely gone. It was so different with Sirius. Remus was sure that they could be years together and that the amazing sensation their contact brought would never disappear.

They were all standing now, forming a triangle. Remus tried not to laugh at the irony. Regulus, who hadn’t let his hand go yet, was scrutinizing him, expectant for an explanation or, maybe, for Remus just to say anything.

“I… never meant to hurt you, Regulus.” Remus started. Regulus tried to protest. “Please, just listen to me. Then you can say whatever you want.”

“I cheated on you and nothing justifies it. But I want you to know everything, you deserve it. I went to Sirius after you allowed Greyback and Snape to hurt me. I was not only in physical pain but also I felt betrayed by you. I still don’t know why and I don’t think I’ll ever do, but I went to Sirius because he felt like the perfect source of comfort I needed in that moment.”

“I am not going to lie, when I first met your brother I was attracted to him. It was something physical, nothing more. He was gorgeous, and I noticed it. But then, when you betrayed me, I needed to get back at you and, at the same time, I wanted to feel alive. You killed a part of me that day, Regulus and Sirius revived it.”

“I broke up with you the next day and not because of Sirius. I ended our relationship because it was violent and toxic and because you had hurt me. And yes, Sirius and I started seeing each other after that but I never did it in revenge barring that first time.” Remus sighed.

“I love him, Regulus. I do. And I don’t really understand what is happening. If you brought us here or if…”

“I was sent pictures of you two kissing by an unknown number.” Regulus interrupted him. “And I was given this address. The person told me you were going to be here.”

“Didn’t it seem weird to you that we were in an abandoned warehouse?” Sirius spoke for the first time, his voice sounding venomous.

Regulus looked at his brother, impassively. “This is the building where our father keeps our valuable heirlooms.” Sirius did not respond but gazed at him, an unintelligible look in his eyes. “Someone emptied it. This is where Riddle almost killed me.”

Remus shivered at the mention of the name.

“Please, Regulus. Understand.”

Regulus looked back at him, his expression had saddened. “You can’t ask me that, Remus. I love you and you betrayed me. And not only that but you did it with _him.”_ He said the last word with hatred.

“Oh, fuck you, little brother.” Sirius answered. “I also care about Remus and you lost your chance. He may have cheated on you but that’s nothing compared to everything you did. You hid your relationship like it was something disgusting; you told your Death Eaters friends that he was some kind of crazy person that invented being with you.” Remus flinched. He had never known that. “You allowed them to physically assault him. You are far worse than him. Than me.” _He also hit me,_ Remus wanted to add but words were not working for him.

Regulus was furious, more than Remus had ever seen him. It was scary, but Sirius didn’t seem affected by it. He had a similar look on his face. Remus noticed how similar the brothers were; both Blacks were emotional; they didn’t think straight when anger took possession of their bodies.

“Don’t lie.” Regulus said through gritted teeth. “You don’t care about him. This was all about revenge. I bet it was about the article, huh?” Remus’ heart stopped, realization hitting him like a bucket of freezing water.

Sirius’ eyes set on fire and he went to punch Regulus. Remus, being quicker, stopped him, holding him by the chest.

“Don’t you get it, Remus?” Regulus raged. “He only stole you from me because he hates his family and wants to do anything to hurt us.”

Remus loathed the fact that it made sense to him. Of course, Sirius was only using him. How did he even think that someone like the oldest Black could ever like him?

“Liar.” Sirius replied. For the first time, he seemed desperate. “I love him. That’s why I stole Remus from you.”

Remus, with his heart pounding and his head throbbing with confusion, wanted to retort that he had not been stolen, as he was a person and not an object. Such banal clarification died on his lips when he saw the distant light dimming.

He suddenly remembered and he wondered how he had been so stupid to forget. Here they were, kidnapped and Remus had taken time to explain to Regulus his romantic relationship with his brother. Suddenly frightened, he turned to his former boyfriend.

“Regulus… they have kidnapped us. They are here.”

Regulus’ skin became paler than it normally was. His eyes looked everywhere but Sirius and Remus. “What?”

As if on cue, Bellatrix appeared again, followed by Snape and Greyback, who Remus recognised with a shiver. The woman was leading the small group, the infuriatingly evil smirk still on her face. She was toying with her silver blade while she walked to them.

“Ah, finally. The three faggots together.” Bellatrix exclaimed.

Greyback laughed. Remus recoiled; there was something about this feral man that unsettled him much more than the other Death Eaters. Bellatrix waved her hand and with that, the animalistic looking man was behind him, holding his arms tightly. Remus winced.

Snape was holding Sirius, who was struggling. Regulus was being held by Bellatrix, who was dragging her blade softly through her cousin’s neck.

“What is this?” Bellatrix happily shrieked, noticing something on Regulus’ scarred arm.

Actually, as Remus also looked down to the boy’s arm, he noticed that the scar was gone and was instead replaced by a tattooed, black word. It was the same one that had been carved on his skin, as a reminder of his treason. Remus threw a quick glance at Sirius, silently asking him with his eyes if he had been the one to tattoo his brother. Sirius, immediately understanding his furtive peek, nodded.

The noiseless conversation between the two lovers went unnoticed by the three Death Eaters, who were too busy making fun of Regulus. Snape had a faint, mocking smile on his face. Greyback was growling with laughter, his hot and disagreeable breath hitting the back of Remus’ neck. Bellatrix, in her case, was screaming furious words.

“Do you believe yourself smarter than our Lord, you filthy traitor?” Remus bore his eyes in Regulus’, who did the same. They held the look. Regulus didn’t react at her words. “What do you think about showing this little tattoo to our Lord, eh?”

At this, Regulus did look scared. Remus whole body felt numb. If he had understood right, Tom Riddle, the mass murderer, was there.

Remus was right.

Riddle was going to end what he started.

Out of nowhere, Tom Riddle materialized, walking slowly to them.

* * *

Remus had seen him before. His pictures were all over the newspapers, the television, even in flyers decorating the walls through the entire city. He looked nothing like in the images. He was tall, thin, and pale, with jet black hair. He looked like an ordinary person except for his eyes. They were red, they were imposing, they were frightening.

Remus was cold. Greyback was still holding him but he barely felt him anymore. If Remus had believed the feral man to be scary, he was nice to be with compared to their Lord.

“Finally.” Riddle talked with an icy voice. It sent unpleasant shivers down his spine. He saw Sirius jerking back. “I am finally face to face with the traitor.”

Riddle continued, his eyes never leaving Regulus, who wasn’t able to hold the look. “I’ve heard of this disgusting and disastrous affair involving both Blacks.” He smirked, which made Bellatrix’s evil grin seem almost sympathetic. “And I’ve decided to do things easier to him.” Now, he stared at Remus. Feeling stupidly brave, he held his menacing gaze. Riddle’s smile widened. “You are going to choose one of them. The faggot” he said, pointing his long, skeletal finger at Sirius. “or the traitor.”

Remus, desperate and confused, looked at both brothers. They were as bewildered as he was, not understanding what the man was implying.

“The other one dies.” Riddle clarified, as if he had read their minds.

“NO!”

It was Sirius who has cried out, his eyes wild. Snape, producing a black knife from his clothes, held it to his throat. Remus found it extremely hard to breathe, the words sinking in. Riddle rummaged through his dark, old-fashioned coat. When his hand reappeared, it did it with a firearm, so slim that it looked like a stick, _like a wand._

Remus tried to fight Greyback’s hold, which only became tighter. Riddle smiled, his followers imitating him. Sirius was looking at him, a now blank expression settled in his face. However, Remus could read him like an open book; he was scared. Scared of dying but more afraid of what could happen to his brother.

Riddle nodded at the three Death Eaters and before Remus was blindfolded again, he saw Bellatrix and Snape doing the same to the Black Brothers.

A few minutes passed, Remus staring at the complete, solitary darkness in front of him. He had never felt so scared, all his nerves were alert, his heart pounding the fastest it ever had pounded.

Then, all of the sudden, he heard a loud, deafening shot.

“SIRIUS!” he instinctively screamed.


	18. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been decided: there is another chapter to go and it is going to be the epilogue.   
> Thank you so much for reading this story, I will never be able to explain how much it means for me and how grateful I am for every kudos and comment.   
> Love you,  
>  Mic.

Remus asked himself if the world just ended. He was confused, lost. He no longer remembered where he was or what was happening to him. His head was spinning, his ears were ringing. Nothing made sense. _Where am I? What is going on? Why can’t I see anything?_

_Who am I?_

People were speaking, screaming, laughing. Nevertheless, Remus didn’t recognise the voices; not the panicked or the jovial and amused ones. He opened his eyes but only darkness met him. _Am I blind?_ He wondered in an alarmed manner.

If he hadn’t been too engulfed by his confusion, Remus would have noticed the loss of someone holding his arms. He realized a person was in front of him, though, when sharp nails scrapped his forehead and then, he could finally see.

He battered his eyes again and again, until he could finally see the figures in front of him clearly. Two boys, extremely similar, were on their knees, their heads hung low. In the middle of them, an imposing and frightening man stood, holding a firearm over his head.

Remus blinked again. Behind the three figures, dozens of people with masks stood, the only part of their bodies that was visible was their left inner forearms. Each one of them was carrying the same tattoo on it: a colossal skull with a snake protruding from its mouth like a tongue.

He felt eyes on him. The boy, kneeled by the left side of the standing man, was boring his orbs into Remus. Blue and grey locked and then everything inside his head clicked.

 _Sirius,_ his head whispered with relief, _he is alive._ He then remembered; the kidnapping, Regulus, Riddle, the shot…

 _Regulus,_ he thought, frantically. He looked at the boy in the right and almost laughed from alleviation. The two brothers were alive. It dawned on Remus that Riddle must have shot the firearm into the air. Remus was alive. At the same time his head was going through everything, a cold laugh was emitted from who he now recognised as Riddle’s mouth. The sound was as unpleasant as ever, maybe even more now that he stood in front of them, who were defenceless, with a mortal weapon in his hands.  

“You finally made your decision.”

Remus didn’t understand. To him, Tom Riddle was speaking in another language he didn’t know. Only when Sirius shrieked, his voice weak and broken, he understood.

 _It was a trap_ , Remus sobbed inside his head. Riddle had given him a choice, Sirius or Regulus. And Remus, unwittingly, had chosen Sirius. He had screamed his name and, apparently, that was enough for Riddle.

 _The other one dies._ The words from the mass murderer repeated themselves like a mantra in his head. Remus registered that Greyback was not holding him anymore, that he was free but for some unknown reason, he couldn’t move. His feet were stuck to the floor, his body unwilling to budge.

“DO NOT TOUCH HIM!” Sirius was screaming, at the same time that Riddle moved in front of Regulus, who was unusually still, his face expressionless. “NO!”

It was too painful to watch, too painful to hear. Guilt found its way into Remus’ body, making him breathless. Sirius got out from Snape’s grip and went to attack Riddle. The greasy-haired man grabbed him again quickly, the black knife hardly pressed against his lengthy throat.

Riddle laughed and pointed the firearm to Regulus’ head, who didn’t even flinch. Remus noticed that his fingers were slowly tracing his traitor tattoo. The golden-haired boy felt tears opening their way through his cheeks.

“Lupin chose your brother over you, traitor.” He directed his words at Regulus. “It is his fault you are going to die. I thank him, as I can finally get rid of you, the biggest scum among my followers.”

Remus closed his eyes, the image in front of him becoming unbearable to watch. The ringing on his ears almost made him miss the second sound of a shot.

He heard clearly, though, the loud sound of Regulus lifeless body falling to the floor and the anguished, penetrating scream of Sirius.

* * *

“Sirius.”

“Sirius, please.”

“Mr. Black, move.”

The voices came and went. Sirius paid no attention to them and instead clung to his brother’s stiff form. He felt arms around him; he recognised the warm touch and the soft skin immediately.

Remus pulled him away from Regulus’ corpse, while Sirius kicked and tried to break free from his hold. They were futile, desperate movements. Remus just grabbed him with more strength, dragging him away from the scene.

Sirius’ eyes never left his brother, who was being observed by people with uniforms. He saw James by his side and wondered what had happened. The last thing he could remember was his brother being shot. _Where is Riddle?_ He asked himself hopelessly. _Where are the Death Eaters?_

The sunlight hit him straight in the eyes, blinding him for a moment. James hugged his shoulders, giving him a tormented look. He couldn’t bare seeing Remus, who was sobbing while he walked by his side.

He wondered how his lover felt; if he was gone with sorrow or if the guilt was overwhelming. Sirius knew that Remus was not the one to blame for his brother’s death but still… If Remus hadn’t screamed his name, Sirius wondered if Regulus would still be alive.

“The police want to ask you some questions, man.” James informed him, empathically. “Then we can go home.”

 _Home._ Sirius didn’t think he had a home anymore. His parents’ manor had never felt like one but now even his studio or James’ flat didn’t hold the sensation of being home.

 _Remus is my home,_ his head said but Sirius chose to ignore it. Thinking of Remus made his whole body ache. Sirius raised his hand and touched his own face. Under his touch, he could feel the scars on both cheeks.

Sirius couldn’t believe that just yesterday he had been watching Remus dance, that just yesterday had been the happiest day of his life, after making up with the one he believed to be the love of his life, that just a few days ago he had tattooed Regulus, strengthening their bond.

Sirius gasped, the memory of Regulus being too painful to even think about. Remus’ hand tightened around him and Sirius pulled away, several feet between them now.

Remus stared at him, miserably. Sirius felt guilty but being around him hurt, it was killing him. James threw a pitiful glance at Remus, who nodded and proceeded to walk ahead of them.

“How did they know we were here?” Sirius asked, his voice hoarse, once he was sure Remus was out of earshot.

“Lily and I couldn’t find you and alerted the authorities. Then Peter confessed that he was the one who took pictures of you and sent it to Regulus. And then he told the police where you were.” James sighed. “I… I am so sorry, Sirius. I trusted Peter and…” he couldn’t finish the sentence and looked away, his eyes watering.

“It is not your fault.” Sirius assured him, his voice void of any emotion.

“It is not Remus’ either.” James told him. “He explained everything to me. Sirius. Do not blame him. He is already blaming himself.”

This time, it was Sirius who looked away, placing his eyes upon Remus, who was currently being questioned by a male officer, Lily by his side.

“I don’t.” he half lied.

“He needs you. And you need him.” James said. “Don’t push him away.”

“I need you, James. You are my best mate.”

James smiled, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “I’ll be here for you. Until the very end.”

Sirius sobbed but hid it under a sigh. “What about Riddle and his Death Eaters?” he asked, more because he wanted to move the subject from Remus than because he really wanted to know.

James looked uncertainly at him. “They could catch almost all the Death Eaters, Bellatrix, Greyback and Snivellus included. But Riddle ran away before they could get him.”

Sirius nodded. He had imagined that the answer to his unavoidable question would have some kind of great impact on him, but it didn’t. Riddle had already done the worst, so if he was free or not, it really didn’t matter to him.

“Mr. Black, I’m Inspector Moody. I must ask you some questions.”

 _Goodbye, brother,_ he thought as he followed the man.

* * *

“So, Remus. It has been a month since the kidnapping. How do you feel?”

Doctor Dumbledore was sitting across him, a kind smile settled on his face. It had been Remus’ own idea to start seeing a psychologist, as he would wake up every night because of the nightmares that tormented him, in which he would see Regulus being murdered, Sirius being tortured and vice versa. For some unknown reason, he had liked how ‘Dr. Dumbledore’ sounded and immediately scheduled a session with the man.

He was strange, for the lack of another word to describe him. He wore half-moon glasses, had a long, white beard that reached his waist and he was always smiling. Always. It sometimes infuriated Remus, especially when he was talking about something painful; the man would carry that minuscule smile, while his blue, deep eyes twinkled.

The smile and its annoyance were overshadowed by the quality of his service, though. The man seemed to always know what was happening to him by just observing the boy and he could, without saying a thing, make Remus talk about everything.

“I cannot stop thinking about it.” He sincerely said.

Dumbledore narrowed his eyes and talked after a few minutes. “How do you feel when you think about it?”

Remus stopped to think about it. He was not sure how he felt. At first, he had felt guilty, asking himself all the time what would have happened if he hadn’t screamed Sirius’ name. Then, he started feeling depressed and he began suffering of panic attacks, which was the reason he was currently medicated. But now, he felt nothing.

“Numb.” Dumbledore smiled – again – and lazily wrote something down in his notebook. There were days in which Remus would be extremely intrigued about what the man was scribbling. Today, though, he just shrugged and waited until the old man talked again.

“Do you know something about Sirius?”

Remus’ heart pounded hastily and his face flushed deep red. This was the part of the session that he hated the most. He always hoped that Dumbledore would choose to not talk about it, as it was the only thing that made him feel something. It was the only thing that still made his whole body ache.

“No. For all I know, he is still in London living with his uncle.” He said, in what he hoped, was an uninterested manner. Remus knew, though, that he couldn’t fool his psychologist, as he was one of the smartest persons he had ever met.

“Do you miss him?”

Remus swallowed hard and shook his head, looking away. He observed the red, huge bird standing on its tall and wooden stool. It was not the only weird possession of his doctor. The bird looked back. Remus noticed its eyes and gasped, also removing his gaze from it.

They were grey.

“No.” he said but, to Dumbledore’s surprise, he was not lying. “I just miss the old times.”

Dumbledore raised his thick, hoary eyebrow. It was one of those rare moments in which he was not smiling.

“Which times, Remus?”

Remus hated it. Remus hated people speaking to him with pity. He didn’t deserve any of it. He was not the one who was killed like Regulus. He was not the one who had been physically tortured like Sirius. He had been the one who had screamed Sirius name and in the process killed Regulus.

 _Ah, the guilt._ Remus said to himself sarcastically. _It’s back._

He had chosen Sirius over Regulus and now he was alone. No Regulus, no Sirius. Just him. Regulus was dead, Sirius was gone and Remus was only accompanied by his depression.

“The times in which I hadn’t met Sirius or Regulus.”


	19. Happy Ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably most of you won't read this, but I must say it. This story has been a wild trip and knowing that some of you stuck till the end of it only brings joy to me.  
> I love writing, it helped me in the hardest of times. This year is by far the worst but there were some good things like being able to finish this.  
> I have written a lot of different stories but I had never completed one until now. (Plus: I wrote it in English, which is not my first language)  
> Writing about this characters that I love so much in this new perspective has been amazing but what was even better was your response to it. I am so happy that you enjoyed the story, it brings a smile to my face every time I think about your comments or kudos.  
> Thank you a thousand times,  
> Mic.

_1 year later._

Remus sat on his favourite bench of the park in front of Prongs, the plastic cup of tea warming his hand. As the icy winter wind hit his face, Remus watched the large, glowing sun rising slowly into the clear morning sky. Its sunbeams were casted in every direction, illuminating Manchester. The now radiant sky stared back at Remus, who sipped contently his drink.

It had become a routine; Remus would wake up before sunrise, get a cup of any blazing hot beverage and walk to the park. There were not many people; two women jogging, a tramp sleeping two benches away from him and Simon, the nice peddler who sold Remus his coffee or – like today – tea every morning.

He saw Lily walking to him, her black coat billowing as she approached him. Her flaming, red hair was tied up in a messy bun, her face was free of makeup and her hand was holding a black envelope. When she finally reached him, Remus didn’t stand up nor did she sit down. They just looked at each other for what seemed hours and then her face broke into the biggest smile he had ever seen on her.

She gave him the envelope. Remus grabbed it with raised eyebrows and when he was about to open it, Lily stopped him with a little shriek. Remus looked up, a small smile finding its way into his face.

“Before opening it, I need to ask you a question.” She couldn’t control the excitement on her voice, Remus noticed happily.

“What is it, Lily?” he asked, acting impatiently. Inside, he felt almost as exhilarated as his best friend.

“Do you want to be my best man?”

Remus snorted and almost dropped his cup. Carefully placing it on the bench, Remus locked eyes with Lily. She looked back at him expectantly.

“I thought the bride must give that honour to a woman?”

Lily rolled her eyes, playfully punching him on the arm. Remus grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her down. As they sat there together, watching Simon giving the tramp a free cup of hot chocolate and a croissant, Remus thought back to when Lily used to say how much of an asshole James Potter was and how infuriating it was when he flirted with her. Remus laughed out loud and felt happy for the first time in a year.

“James and I are not the traditional kind of people.” She clarified. “Besides, who could I choose as my bridesmaid? Petunia?”

Remus chuckled against Lily’s shoulder.

“I would love to, then.”

* * *

James Potter hated London. He had been there many times, much more than he wished, and now he was back. The air felt less pure than Manchester’s did, the sound of the traffic never stopped and people walked fast, not minding when their shoulders bumped into his.

Checking the map of his telephone, James realised he had arrived. He looked up, a fancy, brick house stood imposingly in front of him. He walked to the front door and pressed the golden buzzer, which was barely audible over the annoying sound of a passing truck.

A few minutes after, Sirius Black opened the door. His hair was longer and it looked dishevelled. He was thinner but still handsome, despite two long, white scars that decorated both of his cheeks. James smiled in spite of himself, not remembering that he had told Lily that he would act angry, as it was the first time in a year that he was seeing his best friend – his brother.

Sirius smiled back and the bespectacled boy was glad when he saw that it reached his eyes. Sirius hugged him, maybe too fiercely but James embraced him back. He had missed this, he had missed him. They had never been so long apart.

“How did you know where I was?” Sirius inquired the second they pulled apart. “I only told you I was in London.”

James smiled as he walked into the house. It was elegant and it reminded him a bit of Grimmauld Place. Although, where Grimmauld Place was all trophies and old and valuable heirlooms, Sirius’ new house were family pictures and souvenirs from all over the world.

He understood why Sirius chose to live in this place. It was warm, cosy. It was home.

“I had a little chat with Alphie.” James joked, shaking Sirius’ uncle callused hand. He was sitting at the dinner table while reading an old, yellow-paged book, a cup of coffee by his side.

Sirius grinned and proposed to give him a tour around the house, which he accepted gleefully. Soon, they were both sitting on Sirius’ bed. The walls of the room were covered in pictures of motorbikes and also photos of James and him.

“So, why are you here?” Sirius questioned him, after a passionate debate about James’ hatred for the big city. “You of all people wouldn’t come to London unless it is important.”

James laughed, throwing his head back. He rummaged through the pocket of his jacket, which had been previously discarded to the floor. Sirius stared at him the whole time with an amused glint on his eyes.

Finally finding the black envelope, James handed it to his best friend, who seized it curiously. As he read the invitation inside, his grey orbs became wider and wider.

“You are… getting married?” Sirius said. James nodded with a smile. “Someone is willing to marry you?”

James tried to look offended but instead snickered. His best friend imitated him. They kept laughing until their stomachs began aching, as well as their jaws. _I missed him,_ James thought, his chest feeling too tight all of the sudden.

“Lily Evans, nothing less.” James blurted out, swallowing the lump on his throat. Sirius smirked. “And I want you to be my best man.”

Sirius’ smile vanished instantly and looked away, his eyes positioning themselves upon a picture of them when they were kids. They looked uncomfortable on their expensive tuxedos but still wore big, funny smiles.

“Me?” Sirius asked, suddenly sounding insecure. “We haven’t seen each other in one year and… we talked few times over the phone…”

“You think that is what it takes for you stopping being my best friend?” James interrupted him, hurt. “We’ve known each other since we were kids, of course I want you to be my best man.”

“I just thought… that after all this time… you would have made new friends…”

“Not really, unless we count Lily and…” James paused, not wanting to name Sirius’ past lover. Sirius tore his gaze away from James, apparently understanding.

It had been unavoidably. James and Lily were together as much as they could and where Lily was, Remus Lupin usually was too. James had discovered that Remus was fun to be around and that he made an excellent friend, always offering a ear when Lily and him fought.

“Have you?” James asked him, feeling unreasonably guilty,

Sirius shook his head. “Not really. I have not been out of the house much, actually.”

James nodded awkwardly and cleared his throat, the sound reverberating around the colourful room.

“Well, as I told you, we are going to be friends forever.” Both friend locked eyes. “Until the very end.”

* * *

It was a gorgeous autumn evening. Lily and James were dancing in the middle of the backyard, which was beautifully arranged with round tables and clothed chairs. The music was slow and invited all the couples to dance. Soon, everyone but few people who remained seated accompanied the just married couple’s movements.

One of the persons who hadn’t moved from their chair was Remus Lupin, the bride’s best man. He was observing the event going on, chuckling lowly as many of the couples moved awkwardly and even tripped.

Remus could also feel eyes boring into his neck but tried to not pay attention to them. He had avoided the pair of grey orbs successfully all evening, there was no reason to give up now, when the wedding was about to end.

Lily walked to him, a beyond happy James Potter behind her. They looked beautiful together; Lily was wearing a pure white and long dress cut off her shoulders. Meanwhile, James was sporting a classic, black tux.

“Dance with me.” Lily pleaded him.

Remus protested uselessly, as seconds after he was being dragged to the centre of the dance floor. They danced slowly, peacefully. He could feel Lily’s tears of joy rolling down the back of his jacket. The slow song ended but soon started another one. Remus spun her around on the spot, making her laugh.

“May I?” a deep voice said in front of him.

Remus swallowed hard and looked up. As blue and grey eyes met for the first time in a long while, Remus felt Lily’s grip on his hand tighten. The three of them stood there, unmoving, among the dancing couples.

Looking away, Remus let Lily go. “She is all yours.” He stated, starting to walk away.

“I meant you.”

Raising his eyes again, Remus nodded. They moved closer, until there was no space between them. The feeling of Sirius’ hand on his started an insatiable fire inside of him, although he had felt it many times before.

They danced without talking, without looking at each other. They just moved along the beat of the music, lost in their thoughts. When the song ended, though, they parted. The magical mist of the moment disappeared, leaving behind an uncomfortable silence. Remus felt the need to take one of his pills as his chest tightened and his head started throbbing.

“How are you?” Sirius asked, being the first one to break the quietness that surrounded them.

Remus snorted in despair. “After all this time, after all of what happened, you ask me how am I?” Sirius nodded, slowly, certainly. “I am doing better.” He concluded but then words started blurting out his mouth. “I am seeing a psychologist and he is helping me a lot. He has medicated me but I am less dependent of them now.”

“Medicated?” Sirius questioned, worriedly.

“Panic attacks.” He simply replied. “I’ve having them since… well, you know.” Sirius nodded, absentmindedly. “How are you?”

Sirius didn’t instantly answer to his question. He looked at Remus, properly. He stared at his eyes, his nose and his whole body. Remus did the same and noticed that the scars on his face were too white, almost indiscernible unless you were standing too close to him, as he currently was. 

He was lacking of a jacket and his shirt sleeves were rolled up. Amazed, Remus realized that Sirius had something tattooed on his right arm. 'Traitor', it read on bold, black letters. Remus stared at him, speechless. It was situated in the exact same place that Regulus' tattoo had been.

The grey eyes Remus knew so well and loved so much were screaming in pain. However, as they set on Remus’ mouth, they softened and there it was: the sweet, kind gleam that characterised them, that had always differentiated Sirius from his family, from Regulus' hard, pained glint.

“Not good.” Sirius finally replied, staring intently at him. “I need you.”

Remus’ eyes watered. He needed Sirius too, he never stopped doing it. He needed his kisses, his hugs, his mere presence. He needed his rants about how Remus should be doing what he loved, his bad jokes, his velvety ‘I love you’s’. He needed the man that had taught him that it was possible to have a healthy, loving relationship. He needed Sirius to heal. They went through the moment that broke them both together; they should be healing together, too.

“I need you too.”

The first touch of their lips was timid and hesitant. Remus pressed harder and Sirius mouth opened. Their tongues played against each other's slowly, wanting to savour the moment.

Sirius tasted of cigarettes, beer and the cheesecake that they had been served earlier. Remus tasted of red wine, steak and mint.

For each other, as they kissed deeper, desperately, they tasted of home.

They were finally home.

They kept kissing and dancing, even when the music completely died out and everyone left. Only when James and Lily dared to interrupt them, they pulled away, regretting the loss of their touch immediately.

Remus knew it was not going to be easy. They were too broken, so much that some people would think that both of them were irreparable. But Remus also knew that if there was someone that could fix him, someone that could make him feel alive again, it was Sirius. And Remus could fix Sirius.

It was not a happy ending, Remus thought as he sat behind Sirius on his motorbike, wrapping his arms around his slim waist. The scent of his perfume engulfed him and he hummed contently.

It was a hopeful beginning.

* * *

_The end._

 


End file.
